« All I Got Quotes · Steven Wright's Page
I Got Quotes by Steven Wright
- For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier... I put them in the same room and let them fight it out.
- Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died.
- I got this powdered water - now I don't know what to add.
- I live on a one-way street that's also a dead end. I'm not sure how I got there.
- In Vegas, I got into a long argument with the man at the roulette wheel over what I considered to be an odd number.
- I went down the street to the 24-hour grocery. When I got there, the guy was locking the front door. I said, 'Hey, the sign…
- I got a chain letter by fax. It's very simple. You just fax a dollar bill to everybody on the list.
- My favorite book is anything by Kurt Vonnegut - he's my literary hero. I got to meet him several times, which was a great thrill…
- So I got off the plane and I forget to take off my seat-belt and I’m dragging the plane through the terminal... The wings are…
- I got a new shadow. I had to get rid of the other one – it wasn’t doing what I was doing.
- I bought a house on a one-way dead-end road. I don’t know how I got there.
- I got food poisoning today. I don't know when I'll use it.
- When I was in high school, I got in trouble with my girlfriend's Dad. He said, 'I want my daughter back by 8:15.' I said,…
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