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House Quotes by Jay Leno
- According to a survey in this week's Time magazine, 85% of Americans think global warming is happening. The other 15% work for the White House.
- It's casual Friday, which means that at the White House, they're casually going through everybody's phone calls and records.
- These White House scandals are not going away anytime soon. People in Kenya are now saying he's 100 percent American. That's how bad it's gotten.
- Ex-convicts prepared the eggs for the White House’s Easter Egg Roll. It’s nice to see the White House reaching out to former members of Congress.
- President Obama and House Speaker John Boehner played golf this weekend. Obama’s handicap is Joe Biden.
- President Obama and House Speaker John Boehner have agreed to play a round of golf together. Imagine the two of them at the end of…
- The White House says that the unemployment rate is good news because it means more people are looking for jobs. More good news like that,…
- It’s being reported that the economy lost 95,000 jobs in September. And that’s just people leaving the White House.
- The White House is now urging Americans not to 'read too much' into last week's jobs report. In fact, they said it would be best…
- The White House softball team played the pro-marijuana lobbyists' team and lost 25-3. Still no word yet on which side President Obama played for.
- A petition to have Justin Bieber deported got over 100,000 signatures, which means the White House now has to legally rule on it. So finally…
- President Obama had lunch with Republican leaders at the White House today and had to do without salt, pepper and butter. Not for dietary reasons.…
- Do you know what White House correspondents call actors who pose as reporters? Anchors.
- President Bush said this Iraq situation looks like 'the rerun of a bad movie.' Well sure, there's a Bush in the White House, the economy's…
- Al Gore has found a new job. He is going to teach journalism at Columbia University, which is ironic isn't it? The guy who did…
- Good news. President Bush is creating thousands of new jobs. Unfortunately, all of them are at the White House.
More House Quotes
- A man's homeland is wherever he prospers. — Aristophanes
- If you have children, you don't want to have drugs and drinks in the house. It's just not good. — Billie Joe Armstrong
- I'm a father. It isn't just my life any more. I don't want my kid finding bottles in the house or seeing… — Billie Joe Armstrong
- I'm substantially concerned about the policy directions of the space agency. We have a situation in the U.S. where the White House… — Neil Armstrong
- The soul, which is spirit, can not dwell in dust; it is carried along to dwell in the blood. — Saint Augustine
- Let other pens dwell on guilt and misery. — Jane Austen
- Because we can't escape our ancient hunger to live close to nature, we encircle the house with lawns and gardens, install picture… — Diane Ackerman
- Do you think it is only a little thing to possess a house from which lovely things can be seen? — Teresa of Avila
- My father was a man of great charity towards the poor, and compassion for the sick, and also for servants; so much… — Teresa of Avila
- We try to exile ourselves more and more from nature - not always consciously: We build houses; we dismiss nature; nature has… — Diane Ackerman
- A house must be built on solid foundations if it is to last. The same principle applies to man, otherwise he too… — Sai Baba
- If I were asked to name the chief benefit of the house, I should say: the house shelters day-dreaming, the house protects… — Gaston Bachelard