« All He Quotes · Steven Wright's Page
He Quotes by Steven Wright
- I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five.
- I had a friend who was a clown. When he died, all his friends went to the funeral in one car.
- If God dropped acid, would he see people?
- Do you think that when they asked George Washington for ID that he just whipped out a quarter?
- I poured spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.
- Last year I went fishing with Salvador Dali. He was using a dotted line. He caught every other fish.
- My friend has a baby. I'm recording all the noises he makes so later I can ask him what he meant.
- My neighbor has a circular driveway... he can't get out.
- I went down the street to the 24-hour grocery. When I got there, the guy was locking the front door. I said, 'Hey, the sign…
- At one point he decided enough was enough.
- George is a radio announcer, and when he walks under a bridge... you can't hear him talk.
- I like George Carlin's jokes. I like his humor. He's one of my heroes, and I like what he did with talking about everyday things.
- Very rarely do I talk off the top of my head on stage. I'm not an improv guy. I'm a writer-guy who presents what he's…
- I'm standing behind a wall of jokes. You don't know about my personal life, my girlfriends, or what I do when I'm not on the…
- My favorite book is anything by Kurt Vonnegut - he's my literary hero. I got to meet him several times, which was a great thrill…
- When I was on TV in the '80s, I wasn't thinking, 'There's a 10-year-old kid watching this and in 15 years, he's gonna be doing…
More He Quotes
- Man cannot be free if he does not know that he is subject to necessity, because his freedom is always won in… — Hannah Arendt
- At his best, man is the noblest of all animals; separated from law and justice he is the worst. — Aristotle
- A tyrant must put on the appearance of uncommon devotion to religion. Subjects are less apprehensive of illegal treatment from a ruler… — Aristotle
- Without friends no one would choose to live, though he had all other goods. — Aristotle
- No one loves the man whom he fears. — Aristotle
- Resolve to be thyself: and know that he who finds himself, loses his misery. — Matthew Arnold
- He who hath many friends hath none. — Aristotle
- There are times when a leader must move out ahead of the flock, go off in a new direction, confident that he… — Nelson Mandela