« All Going Quotes · Steven Wright's Page
Going Quotes by Steven Wright
- If you were going to shoot a mime, would you use a silencer?
- I went to the bank and asked to borrow a cup of money. They said, 'What for?' I said, 'I'm going to buy some sugar.'
- I play the harmonica. The only way I can play is if I get my car going really fast, and stick it out the window.
- I think God's going to come down and pull civilization over for speeding.
- Be nice to your children. After all, they are going to choose your nursing home.
- I was born. When I was 23 I started telling jokes. Then I started going on television and doing films. That's still what I am…
- I don't feel that I'm explaining the world or teaching people anything. And I'm not trying to be a mirror, showing them what's really going…
- My mother is from another time - the funniest person to her is Lucille Ball; that's what she loves. A lot of times she tells…
- When I'm on stage, it's really intense. My mind is going a million miles an hour, trying to remember my act, trying to say it…
- I hate it when my leg falls asleep. I know that means it's going to be up all night.
- If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
- I went for a walk last night and she asked me how long I was going to be gone. I said, 'The whole time.
- If it’s zero degrees outside today and it’s supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?
- Officer, I know I was going faster than 55MPH, but I wasn't going to be on the road an hour.
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