« All God Had Intended Quotes
·
George Carlin's Page
God Had Intended Quotes by George Carlin
1 God Had Intended quote by George Carlin
More Quotes by George Carlin
George Carlin has 565 quotes on this site. A few more worth reading:
-
Weather forecast for tonight: dark.
-
The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
-
Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
-
Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn't mean the circus has left town.
-
Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some…
-
The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You know, I want to set those people…
-
Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.
-
Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.
-
Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.
-
I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, 'Where's the self-help section?' She said if she told me, it would defeat…
-
I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned…
-
The reason I talk to myself is that I'm the only one whose answers I accept.
See all 565 quotes by George Carlin »
More God Had Intended Quotes
Popular God Had Intended quotes from across the collection:
-
If God had intended us not to masturbate, He would have made our arms shorter.
— George Carlin
-
"Just try and remember," I said slowly," that if God had intended men to fly He'd have given us wings. So all…
— Gavin Lyall
-
If God had intended us to be alone, there would be more pleasure in massaging our own shoulders.
— Robert Breault
-
But it seems to me that if God had intended for you to cover your face then, in His wisdom, He would…
— Pat Condell
-
If God had intended me to make excuses for who I am, He would have given me better excuses.
— Robert Breault
-
If God had intended us to fly he would have given us railways.
— Michael Flanders
-
If God had intended us to drink beer, He would have given us stomachs.
— Unknown Author
-
If God had intended us to fly, he would never have given us the railroads
— Michael Flanders
-
If God had intended for breasts to be seen, He wouldn't have created large woolen pullovers
— Tracey Ullman
See all God Had Intended Quotes »
Browse George Carlin Quotes by Category