« All Funny Life Quotes · Phyllis Diller's Page
Funny Life Quotes by Phyllis Diller
- Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home.
- Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.
More Funny Life Quotes
- The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age. — Lucille Ball
- You live and learn. At any rate, you live. — Douglas Adams
- I'm spending a year dead for tax reasons. — Douglas Adams
- Life is anything that dies when you stomp on it. — Dave Barry
- The trouble with life is that there are so many beautiful women and so little time. — John Barrymore
- Anybody can win - unless there happens to be a second entry. — George Ade
- A nickel ain't worth a dime anymore. — Yogi Berra
- Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours. — Yogi Berra
- A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself. — Josh Billings
- A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat. — Erma Bombeck
- One thing they never tell you about child raising is that for the rest of your life, at the drop of a… — Erma Bombeck
- If you can't make it better, you can laugh at it. — Erma Bombeck