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Funny Quotes by Garry Shandling
- I sold my house this week. I got a pretty good price for it, but it made my landlord mad as hell
- I'm too shy to express my sexual needs except over the phone to people I don't know.
- Here's the thing - I'm single, I haven't been married, I don't have kids yet. If I do have kids I would be interested to…
- They should put expiration dates on clothing so we men will know when they go out of style.
- I practice safe sex - I use an airbag.
- I once made love for an hour and fifteen minutes, but it was the night the clocks are set ahead.
- You know it's funny that none of the regular late-night shows now use guest hosts the way Johnny did. No one talks about it much,…
- Carol Burnett was particularly funny. She swore for the first time on television on Larry Sanders.
- I don't know how to ground myself without the other actor present.
- I like going into nature and that's where I'm happiest.
- I think sometimes I should do more carousing, because I don't do much and maybe it would be fun occasionally. It's hard for me to…
- But I really like hosting, I think it's a strength of mine. It allows me to improvise, and I love the spontaneity of that, and…
More Funny Quotes
- To be free in an age like ours, one must be in a position of authority. That in itself would be enough… — Hannah Arendt
- These are the fifties, you know. The disgusting, posturing fifties. — Hannah Arendt
- I'm literally open to any medium that will have me. — J. J. Abrams
- We must all make peace so that we can all live in peace. — Jean-Bertrand Aristide
- Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies. — Aristotle
- There is no great genius without a mixture of madness. — Aristotle
- I hope to make movies that are so small they don't need to make anything to be profitable. — J. J. Abrams
- I love recording music. — J. J. Abrams
- Hope is the dream of a waking man. — Aristotle
- Education is the best provision for old age. — Aristotle
- I've had the same friends since I was in kindergarten. — J. J. Abrams
- I also have this incredible love for women. — Kevyn Aucoin