Every Officer Quotes by Jon Stewart

More Quotes by Jon Stewart

Jon Stewart has 231 quotes on this site. A few more worth reading:

• Christmas and the New Year are actually two holidays. So there is a plural, which in the English language, necessitates the use…
• I'm doing everything I can to sabotage my career. It's a little thing called "fear of success".
• The unfortunate, yet truly exciting thing about your life, is that there is no core curriculum. The entire place is an elective.
• Love what you do. Get good at it. Competence is a rare commodity in this day and age. And let the chips…
• Bad jokes and gay marriage are destroying this country. But torture can save it.
• Don't confuse [Father's Day] with Valentine's Day, and here's why. Boy, will you creep him out. I can just tell you from…
• Why can't they have gay people in the army? Personally, I think they are just afraid of a thousand guys with M16s…
• I want to look back on my career and be proud of the work, and be proud that I tried everything.
• The last thing we'll hear is some scientist saying 'It works!'
• Is listening to Pink Floyd in the dark a medical condition?
• I've always run by the hierarchy of 'If not funny, interesting. If not interesting, hot. If not hot, bizarre. If not bizarre,…
• A guy comes down to earth, takes your sins, dies, and comes back three days later. You believe in him and go…

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