« All Children Quotes · Dave Barry's Page
Children Quotes by Dave Barry
- I believe that we parents must encourage our children to become educated, so they can get into a good college that we cannot afford.
- As a child, I was more afraid of tetanus shots than, for example, Dracula.
- If you were to open up a baby's head - and I am not for a moment suggesting that you should - you would find…
- My point here, young couples, is that baby-having is extremely serious business, and you probably don't have the vaguest idea what you're doing, as is…
- Until I became a parent, I thought children just naturally knew how to catch a ball, that catching was an instinctive biological reflex that all…
- Today's toys contain computer chips, so they can move and talk; this stimulates the mind of your child. Notice I say "your child." MY child…
- My theory is that there is a finite amount of intelligence in a family, and you're supposed to gradually transfer it to your children over…
- A child can go only so far in life without potty training. It is not mere coincidence that six of the last seven presidents were…
- I’ve noticed that one thing about parents is that no matter what stage your child is in, the parents who have older children always tell…
- A perfect parent is a person with excellent child-rearing theories and no actual children.
- Babies are equipped at birth with a number of instinctive reflexes and behavior patterns that cause them to spend their first several years trying to…
- Baby's room should be close enough to your room so that you can hear baby cry, unless you want to get some sleep, in which…
- ... Once you're safely in the mall, you should tie your children to you with ropes so the other shoppers won't try to buy them.…
- If you're like most members of the Baby Boom generation, you decided somewhere along the line, probably after about four margaritas, to have children. This…
- If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without…
More Children Quotes
- Having been a child actor, I remember how directors would trick me to get good performances out of me. I don't think… — Asia Argento
- Those who educate children well are more to be honored than they who produce them; for these only gave them life, those… — Aristotle
- Mothers are fonder than fathers of their children because they are more certain they are their own. — Aristotle
- There's love, and certainly children you care about more than yourself. But nevertheless, we're alone in our heads. — Paul Auster
- Three groups spend other people's money: children, thieves, politicians. All three need supervision. — Dick Armey
- Children are supposed to help hold a marriage together. They do this in a number of ways. For instance, they demand so… — Richard Armour
- If you have children, you don't want to have drugs and drinks in the house. It's just not good. — Billie Joe Armstrong
- To suggest that God specifically created a worm to torture small African children is blasphemy as far as I can see. The… — David Attenborough