"A perfect parent is a person with excellent……" — Dave Barry
"A perfect parent is a person with excellent child-rearing theories and no actual children."
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Dave Barry
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508 Quotes by Dave Barry
Dave Barry has 508 quotes on this site.
A few more worth reading:
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Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing.
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Fishing is boring, unless you catch an actual fish, and then it is disgusting.
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Skiing combines outdoor fun with knocking down trees with your face.
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Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the…
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The Democrats seem to be basically nicer people, but they have demonstrated time and again that they have the management…
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'Escargot' is French for 'fat crawling bag of phlegm'.
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The simple truth is that balding African-American men look cool when they shave their heads, whereas balding white men look…
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We believe that electricity exists, because the electric company keeps sending us bills for it, but we cannot figure out…
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The word user is the word used by the computer professional when they mean idiot.
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The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and vinyl.
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Your modern teenager is not about to listen to advice from an old person, defined as a person who remembers…
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Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off during games in Chicago in January, only…
See all 508 quotes by Dave Barry »
More Actual Quotes
This quote is filed under Actual Quotes,
one of 1,266 quotes in that category. Here are a few more:
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The fatigue produced on the muscles of the human frame does not altogether depend on the actual force employed in…
— Charles Babbage
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Where do we say that a cell became a blade of grass, which became a starfish, which became a cat,…
— Michele Bachmann
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The Canadian run can be no different, at least in terms of actual running.
— Dennis Banks
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Fishing is boring, unless you catch an actual fish, and then it is disgusting.
— Dave Barry
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I do love to eavesdrop. It's inspirational, not only for subject matter but for actual dialogue, the way people talk.
— Lynda Barry
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Percentage margins don't matter. What matters always is dollar margins: the actual dollar amount. Companies are valued not on their…
— Jeff Bezos
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It is evident that skepticism, while it makes no actual change in man, always makes him feel better.
— Ambrose Bierce
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Sure, I suffered a lot. But it's not like the end of the world and it's not who I am.…
— Ben Affleck
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I've thought for the last decade or so, the only actual place raw truth was seeping through in newspapers was…
— Elayne Boosler
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The importance to the writer of first writing must be out of all proportion of the actual value of what…
— Elizabeth Bowen
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Congress acknowledged that society's accumulated myths and fears about disability and disease are as handicapping as are the physical limitations…
— William J. Brennan
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You don't want flame to hit your food. Flame is bad. Flame does nasty things to food. It makes soot…
— Alton Brown
See all 1,266 Actual Quotes »
