Bathroom Quotes

452 quotes by 387 authors

In a house where there are small children the bathroom soon takes on the appearance of the Old Curiosity Shop. — Robert Benchley
Hollywood is like Picasso's bathroom. — Candice Bergen
When a child is locked in the bathroom with water running and he says he's doing nothing but the dog is barking, call 911. — Erma Bombeck
My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. — Erma Bombeck
At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. — George Carlin
My wife was a make-up artist, and she's a total product junkie. Our bathroom is packed full of lotions and potions so I end up… — Robert Carlyle
The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale. — Arthur C. Clarke
Lesbianism is so rampant in some of the schools in southeast Oklahoma that they'll only let one girl go to the bathroom. Now think about… — Tom Coburn
The knives in my apartment are only sharp enough to open envelopes with. Cutting a slice of coarse bread is on the borderline of their… — Peter HÃ¸eg
They gave 12 monkeys a typewriter for a week, and after a week, they only used it as a bathroom. — Robin Ince
The umpire... is like the geyser in the bathroom; we cannot do without it, yet we notice it only when it is out of order. — Neville Cardus
Hollywood is a coke town, but weed is so much better. And Molly, too; those are happy drugs - social drugs. They make you want… — Miley Cyrus
I tried the Scarsdale diet and the Stillman water diet (you remember that one, where you run weight off trying to get to the bathroom). — Dolly Parton
This could very easily be taken out of context, and I think it's funny now, but I remember looking in the mirror as a kid… — Lena Dunham
After 7 years of marriage, I am sure of 2 things: First, never wallpaper together and second, you'll need 2 bathrooms . . . both… — Dennis Miller
Always go to the bathroom when you have a chance. — George V
If you get up at three in the morning to go to the bathroom, man, why you have to turn on that little light? Put… — Hugo Chavez
I listen to feminists and all these radical gals - most of them are failures. They've blown it. Some of them have been married, but… — Jerry Falwell
& this girl right here? Who knows what she knows? So I'm going through her phone when she go to the bathroom and her purse… — Drake
Write in the kitchen, lock yourself up in the bathroom. Write on the bus or the welfare line, on the job or during meals. — Gloria E. AnzaldÃºa

Who Wrote These Bathroom Quotes

387 authors contributed a total of 452 Bathroom Quotes, led by these top contributors: