"When a child is locked in the bathroom……" — Erma Bombeck
"When a child is locked in the bathroom with water running and he says he's doing nothing but the dog is barking, call 911."
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Erma Bombeck
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251 Quotes by Erma Bombeck
Erma Bombeck has 251 quotes on this site.
A few more worth reading:
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When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a…
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Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not…
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A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.
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When your mother asks, 'Do you want a piece of advice?' it is a mere formality. It doesn't matter if…
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There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt.
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It is not until you become a mother that your judgment slowly turns to compassion and understanding.
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My theory on housework is, if the item doesn't multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it…
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I haven't trusted polls since I read that 62% of women had affairs during their lunch hour. I've never met…
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Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving.
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There's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.
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Do you know what you call those who use towels and never wash them, eat meals and never do the…
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Don't confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other.
See all 251 quotes by Erma Bombeck »
More Barking Quotes
This quote is filed under Barking Quotes,
one of 90 quotes in that category. Here are a few more:
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Truth is a good dog; but always beware of barking too close to the heels of an error, lest you…
— Francis Bacon
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You do not have to be an economist to know that putting up the cost of employing someone is a…
— David Cameron
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Of all the unchristian beverages that ever passed my lips, Turkish coffee is the worst. The cup is small, it…
— Mark Twain
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God turns clouds inside out to make fluffy beds for the dogs in Dog Heaven, and when they are tired…
— Cynthia Rylant
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Ever since its founding in 1913, the Fed has described itself as an "independent" agency operated by selfless public servants…
— Thomas DiLorenzo
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When we talk about settling the world's problems, we're barking up the wrong tree. The world is perfect. It's a…
— Joseph Campbell
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Forgiveness is not simply the absolving of an enemy, or one who has done us wrong. Forgiveness must encompass all…
— Barbara Wood
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A barking dog is often more useful than a sleeping lion.
— Washington Irving
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My loneliness...still comes over me sometimes...It's a liminal, lost sensation of having wandered wide, endless boulevards, among rows of orange…
— Unknown Author
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I wanted to play a good guy after doing this lunatic on The Sopranos for two years. And then they…
— Joe Pantoliano
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With my dog I don't get no respect. He keeps barking at the front door. He don't want to go…
— Rodney Dangerfield
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Intellectual controversies tend to be like dog fights without the teeth, in which the barking not the biting does the…
— Luis Fernando Verissimo
See all 90 Barking Quotes »