Best Woody Allen Thoughts
- No matter what the shrinks, or the pundits, or the self-help books tell you, when it comes to love, it's luck. Book
- [An audience conditioned by a lifetime of television-watching is so corrupted that] their standards have been systematically lowered over the years. These guys sit in… Audience
- They were doing the Dying Swan at the ballet. And there was a rumor that some bookmarkers had drifted into town from upstate New York… Ballet
- Is sex dirty? Only when it's being done right. Dirty
- Sex and death are two things that come but once in my lifetime, but at least after death you're not nauseous. Death
- A fast word about oral contraception. I was involved in an extremely good example of oral contraception two weeks ago. I asked a girl to… Ago
- All things are possible, except skiing through a revolving door. All
- I wish I could think of a positive point to leave you with. Will you take two negative points? Funny
- Men would make love with any number of women ... even total strangers, while females were selective. They were catering to the demands of one… Any
- I call that mind free which jealously guards its intellectual rights and powers, which calls no man master, which does not content itself with a… Angel
- I've become the person I've always hated, but I'm happier. Always Hated
- What I do know about physics is that to a man standing on the shore, time passes quicker than to a man on a boat… Boat
- When I am in New York, I want to be in Europe, and when I am in Europe, I want to be in New York. Europe
- I hope you're getting this down. Down
- Eternity is really long, especially near the end. End
- I didn't know he was dead; I thought he was British. British
- I have an intense desire to return to the womb. Anybody's. Desire
- The baby is fine. The only problem is that he looks like Edward G. Robinson. Baby
- Heaven knows, we all make mistakes. That's life - and chess. All
- I can't understand why more people aren't bisexual. It would double your chances for a date on Saturday night. Bisexual
- I should have known something was wrong with my first wife. When I brought her home to meet my parents, they approved of her. Approved
- In New York State they have a strange law that says you can't get a divorce unless you can prove adultery - and it's weird,… Adultery
- I don't have to 'freedom-kiss' my wife when what I really want to do is French-kiss her. Freedom
- Should I marry W? Not if she won't tell me the other letters in her name. And what about her career? How can I ask… Ask
- I don't know enough to be incompetent. Funny
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