Best Woody Allen Sayings
- I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox. All
- Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it. Death
- I think being funny is not anyone's first choice. Anyone
- The food here is terrible, and the portions are too small. Food
- Man consists of two parts, his mind and his body, only the body has more fun. Body
- He was so depressed, he tried to commit suicide by inhaling next to an Armenian. Armenian
- I don't think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear in my crib. Bear
- When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room. Action
- His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy. Bankruptcy
- Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable. Divided
- My luck is getting worse and worse. Last night, for instance, I was mugged by a quaker. Failure
- Tradition is the illusion of permanance. Illusion
- Who bothers to cook TV dinners? I suck them frozen. Bother
- Right now it's only a notion, but I think I can get the money to make it into a concept, and later turn it into… Concept
- I ran into Isosceles. He had a great idea for a new triangle! Great
- It is impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune. Carry
- Comedy just pokes at problems, rarely confronts them squarely. Drama is like a plate of meat and potatoes, comedy is rather the dessert, a bit… Bit
- The meaning of life is that nobody knows the meaning of life. Human Nature
- I tended to place my wife under a pedestal. Pedestal
- The chief problem about death ... is the fear that there may be no afterlife - a depressing thought. Afterlife
- There have been times when I've thought about it - but with my luck it would probably turn out to be only a temporary solution. Been
- I loathed every day and regret every moment I spent in a school. Day
- I don't believe in an afterlife, but I'm taking an extra pair of underwear just in case. Afterlife
- I don't want to be immortal through my works. I want to be immortal by not dying. Death
- I sued American Apparel because they calculatingly took my name, my likeness and image and used them publicly to promote their business. American
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