All Jerry Seinfeld Quotes
- The Four Levels of Comedy: Make your friends laugh, Make strangers laugh, Get paid to make strangers laugh, and Make people talk like you because… Comedy
- I won't do something unless I can get at least two or three good laughs out of it. If I can't, it's not gonna make… Gonna
- When I jumped off a roof in Cannes in a bee costume, I looked ridiculous. But this is my business; I have to humiliate myself. Bee
- I'll tell you one thing, since I'm married, single people look absolutely ridiculous to me. Absolutely
- The greatest thing about being a comedian is knowing other comedians. And you get to talk to them. Its the most fun. Comedian
- When someone does a small task beautifully, their whole environment is affected by it. Affected
- You know, crankiness is at the essence of all comedy. All
- There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men don't think there's a lot they don't know. Women do. Women want to learn. Men think,… Advice
- I prefer the old theaters because the audience is... trapped. Audience
- If you go to a bad movie, it's two hours. If you're in a bad movie, it's two years. Bad
- Once you start doing only what you've already proven you can do, you're on the road to death. Already Proven
- Pay attention, don't let life go by you. Fall in love with the back of your cereal box. Attention
- Taking in a baseball game on TV is also a big treat. Baseball
- The first real thought that I had of something that I might do was to write for car magazines, because I always had a car… Car
- The truth is, I had always wanted to be a comedian, but I really didn't have that kind of personality, and it's a terrifying thing… Always Wanted
- We sold 'Seinfeld' all over the world but it was a very specific kind of show. In some countries it went down really well, in… All
- Well, Howard Stern has been doing his impression of me for years. It doesn't really bother me. Been
- You can be passionate about anything. Funny
- The Beatles created something that never trailed off. What a gift that was to their fans. If you're into the Beatles, you loved them from… Beatles
- Well, all comedy starts with anger. You get angry, and its never for a good reason, right? You know its not a good reason. And… All