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- We want to do a lot of stuff; we're not in great shape. We didn't get a good night's sleep. We're a little depressed. Coffee…
- Why is commitment such a big problem for a man? I think that for some reason when a man is driving down that freeway of…
- People don't think of their office as a workplace anymore. They think of it as a stationary store with Danish. You want to get your…
- After you get a job and before you have to do it. Nothing beats that.
- You can measure distance by time. 'How far away is it?' 'Oh about 20 minutes.' But it doesn't work the other way. 'When do you…
- Well, sometimes we do actually have to get up early, but a man will always trade sleep for sex.
- I think the answer is we all need a little help, and the coffee's a little help with everything — social, energy, don't know what…
- So let me get this straight. You find yourself in the kitchen, you see an eclair in the receptacle, and you think to yourself, 'What…
- Golf is the ultimate avoidance activity for the dysfunctional dad. A game so nonsensically difficult, so pointless, so irrationally time consuming, the word golf itself…
- We’re all trying to get to the same island, whether you swim, fly, surf, or skydive in, it doesn’t matter. What matters is when the…
- I am a very organized person. I get up at 6:15 a.m., the kids get up at 6:45 a.m., and so I get up and…
- I see TV ads about detergents that can get blood stains out of your cloths. I say if you have blood stains on your cloths…
- You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It's like, 'See if you can blow this out.'
- Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there. I think if you've got a T-shirt with a bloodstain all…
- The Four Levels of Comedy: Make your friends laugh, Make strangers laugh, Get paid to make strangers laugh, and Make people talk like you because…
- I won't do something unless I can get at least two or three good laughs out of it. If I can't, it's not gonna make…
- The greatest thing about being a comedian is knowing other comedians. And you get to talk to them. Its the most fun.
- Well, all comedy starts with anger. You get angry, and its never for a good reason, right? You know its not a good reason. And…
- The Swiss have an interesting army. Five hundred years without a war. Pretty impressive. Also pretty lucky for them. Ever seen that little Swiss Army…
- Looking at cleavage is like looking at the sun. You don't stare at it. It's too risky. Ya get a sense of it and then…
More Get Quotes
- Flattery and deceit are the darlings of great men, and so with these men spread the butter on thick, if you want… — Pietro Aretino
- Having been a child actor, I remember how directors would trick me to get good performances out of me. I don't think… — Asia Argento
- I wanted to get back to my style of 20 years ago after a long period of exploring horror and fantasy themes. — Dario Argento
- Jealousy is both reasonable and belongs to reasonable men, while envy is base and belongs to the base, for the one makes… — Aristotle
- Most people would rather give than get affection. — Aristotle
- The faces I see in the modeling industry can get dull. — Kevyn Aucoin
- Get this in mind early: We never grow up. — Richard Bach
- The more I want to get something done, the less I call it work. — Richard Bach