Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House…

— Jeff Foxworthy

You can call us rednecks if you want. We're not offended, 'cause we know what we're all about. We get up and…

— Jeff Foxworthy

By the time we get to church, I need church cuz I've been yelled at by everyone in the family.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your anniversary present was getting the septic tank pumped.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your most expensive shoes have numbers on the heels.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if three quarters of the clothes you own have logos on them.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if during your senior year you and your mother had homeroom together.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you celebrate Groundhog Day because you believe in it.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you consider pork and beans to be a gourmet food.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you think a chain saw is a musical instrument.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you prominently display a gift you bought at Graceland.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if when you leave your house, you are followed by federal agents of the Bureau of Alcohol…

— Jeff Foxworthy

You find out that all this stuff you've accumulated, you could care less about it. It's just the relationships that matter.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if going to the bathroom involves shoes and a flashlight.

— Jeff Foxworthy

I was talking to Alan Jackson. He had his second Greatest Hits album. He said, You don't ever get into this really…

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you watch cartoons long after your kids get bored.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if...Your only condiment on the dining room table is the economy size bottle of ketchup.

— Jeff Foxworthy

Louisiana has the best food on the planet if you don't really ask too much about what you're eating.

— Jeff Foxworthy

Pride is the first step in people unraveling and companies unraveling and relationships unraveling.

— Jeff Foxworthy

My father-in-law gets up at 5 o'clock in the morning and watches the Discovery Channel. I don't know why there's this big…

— Jeff Foxworthy

Did you know babies are nauseated by the smell of a clean shirt?

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you have refused to watch the Academy Awards since Smokey and the Bandit was snubbed for…

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if the best way to keep things cold is to leave'em in the shade.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you have to go outside to get something out of the fridge.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you entire family has ever sat around waiting for a call from the governor to spare…

— Jeff Foxworthy