Best Erma Bombeck Quotations
- It's the three pairs of eyes that mothers have to have...One pair that see through closed doors. Another in the back of her head...and, of… Child
- Not everyone is comfortable with the kissing ritual. My husband is one of them. Her refuses to press lips with anyone except his wife, mother,… Anyone
- Making coffee has become the great compromise of the decade. It's the only thing "real" men do that doesn't seem to threaten their masculinity. To… Chicken
- Dreams have only one owner at a time. That's why dreamers are lonely. Clever
- Some emotions don't make a lot of noise. It's hard to hear pride. Caring is real faint - like a heartbeat. And pure love -… Caring
- As a graduate of the Zsa Zsa Gabor School of Creative mathematics, I honestly do not know how old I am. Aging
- There would have been more 'I love you's' and more, 'I'm sorry's'. Been
- The age of your children is a key factor in how quickly you are served in a restaurant. We once had a waiter in Canada… Age
- If I raised my hand to wipe the hair out of my children's eyes, they'd flinch and call their attorney. Attorney
- I got so much food spit back in my face when my kids were small, I put windshield wipers on my glasses. Baby
- My son did not show signs of a money deficiency until he opened his small fist in the nursery and found it was empty. Baby
- I've always been intrigued with the variety of answers this generation will give their children who ask, "Where did I come from, Mommy?" They will… Answers
- For the first two years of a child's life, we spend every waking hour tryibg to get the child to communicate. Then we spend the… Baby
- Cats invented self-esteem; there is not an insecure bone in their body. Body
- Cats invented self-esteem. Cat
- I never go to a college reunion that I don't come away feeling sorry for all those paunchy, balding jocks trying to hang onto youth.… All
- Grandma told me Mama was once caught by the Principal for writing in the front of her book, "In Case of Fire, Throw This in… Book
- Every puppy should have a boy. Boy
- Spend at least one Mother's Day with your respective mothers before you decide on marriage. If a man gives his mother a gift certificate for… Certificate
- My mother won't admit it, but I've always been a disappointment to her. Deep down inside, she'll never forgive herself for giving birth to a… Admit
- Know the difference between success and fame. Success is Mother Teresa. Fame is Madonna. Difference
- No self-respecting mother would run out of intimidations on the eve of a major holiday. Eve
- The Rose Bowl is the only bowl I've ever seen that I didn't have to clean. Bowl
- I have seen my kid struggle into the kitchen in the morning with outfits that need only one accessory: an empty gin bottle. Accessories
- Family life got better and we got our car back - as soon as we put 'I love Mom' on the license plate. Better
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