Best Dennis Miller Sayings
- The American auto industry is blowing up like a 1976 Ford Pinto. American
- Jerry Falwell says that abortion and homosexuality are sins. Oh yeah? Well, so is gluttony, Jerry. So maybe you should think about dropping 50 pounds. Abortion
- The easiest job in the world has to be coroner. Surgery on dead people. What's the worst thing that could happen? If everything went wrong,… Coroner
- Only man is a narcissistic enough species to think that a highly evolved alien life force would travel across billions and billions of light-years- a… Across
- Guilt is the reason they put the articles in Playboy. Articles
- Liberals should not overplay this weapons of mass destruction card, because you want me to tell you the truth? Most of us are not going… Card
- I don't know about you, but in my neighborhood, they just opened a Starbucks... IN A STARBUCKS!!! Inspirational
- Somebody can say they don't understand why somebody drifts. But I've always found people who drift interesting, 'cause it shows me the game's not stagnant… Always Found
- We need anything politically important rationed out like Pez: small, sweet, and coming out of a funny, plastic head. Anything Politically
- I have the distinction of speaking to you from one of the few countries that still has a communist party. Communist
- Detroit's so bad this year they might lose their bye week. Bad
- In regards to Oral Roberts' claim that God told him that he would die unless he received $20 million by March, God's lawyers have stated… Agnostic
- Let me use their own terminology against them. They aborted a child in the 200th trimester. Aborted
- Obama better hope a kicked ass is covered by Obamacare. Ass
- One man's Voltaire is another man's Screech. Funny
- At some point you cannot be the kid in the glass bubble in this world. You might've heard throughout your grade school and high school… Brutal
- Of course, that's just my opinion. I could be wrong. Course
- If some unemployed punk in New Jersey, can get a cassette to make love to Elle McPherson for $19.95, this virtual reality stuff is going… Cassette
- I'd rather be funny than wise. Funny
- Just be good and kind to your children. Not only are they the future of the world, they're the ones who can sign you into… Children
- I love this country for several reasons, not the least of which is that I know I'm allowed to hate it if I want to. Allowed
- So who's the big red menace nowadays? Cuba. That's it? I'm sorry, but it's hard to whip up any us against them nationalist fervor about… Any
- Al Gore couldn't be more phony if he were a professional Al Gore impersonator Al
- Yeah, this country's founding fathers are a bunch of dead rich white men, but they did set things up so you could come and sit… All
- It's a cocktail-party circuit in D.C., That guy who couldn't master the guitar and get in a band and get laid, he ends up there.… Band
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