Witty Quotes by Nikhil Saluja · Page 28

LOVE, The last and most serious of the childhood diseases;

— Nikhil Saluja

It's only happy hour if a hot girl is sharing your drinks. Otherwise it's just drowning your misery.

— Nikhil Saluja

Woman who pounce on dead rooster, go down on limp cock.

— Nikhil Saluja

Pro-gas-ti-na-tion¦ Waiting to fill up your tank while hoping the gas prices will actually go down.

— Nikhil Saluja

You know you've drank too much when you actually ask your wife to drive you home.

— Nikhil Saluja

The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

— Nikhil Saluja

I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.

— Nikhil Saluja

If a girl takes the time to straighten her hair and you don't fall in love with her you're an asshole.

— Nikhil Saluja

Mosquito: The only insect that makes you prefer flies.

— Nikhil Saluja

Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?

— Nikhil Saluja

Sometimes I want to sit on my right hand so it feels like someone else is stopping me from masturbating.

— Nikhil Saluja

HUSBAND, SMART, A man who is on listening terms with his wife

— Nikhil Saluja

SECRET: Something you tell to one person at a time.

— Nikhil Saluja

Think about parents' nude bodies during foreplay; resultant loss of erection will prevent potential unsafe sex.

— Nikhil Saluja

Men...we spend nine months trying to get out of a vagina, and the rest of our lives trying to get back in.

— Nikhil Saluja

I started out with nothing...and I still have most of it left.

— Nikhil Saluja

Nurse: A woman that wakes you up in the middle of the night to give you sleeping pills.

— Nikhil Saluja

If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, then we can be good friends.

— Nikhil Saluja

I'm still in my first marriage. I know, it's wrong to talk about it so temporary like that. My current husband hates…

— Nikhil Saluja

A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.

— Nikhil Saluja

Did It Hurt?... When you fell out of the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down?

— Nikhil Saluja

Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.

— Nikhil Saluja

You know what's fun? Go to a German restaurant and insist on using chopsticks.

— Nikhil Saluja

You know what would be fun? To have a set of twins, name them Dumbo and Goofy and then just sit back…

— Nikhil Saluja

If I said It would take too long to explain. I really meant I have no idea how it works.

— Nikhil Saluja