Witty Quotes by Nikhil Saluja · Page 23

I have a thing for people who unfollow me, it's called hate.

— Nikhil Saluja

MARRIAGE, A rite where two people, under the influence most violent, most insane, most delusive, and most transient of passions, are required…

— Nikhil Saluja

CHICKENS: The only animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead.

— Nikhil Saluja

Etc: The word that makes people think you are smarter than you really are.

— Nikhil Saluja

In time your heart will heal. Have a little faith in your decision, I know it wasn't an easy one for you…

— Nikhil Saluja

I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.

— Nikhil Saluja

Fancy restaurant: The only restaurant that serves you cold soup on purpose.

— Nikhil Saluja

They told me I was gullible ... and I believed them.

— Nikhil Saluja

Pencils could be made with erasers at both ends, but what would be the point?

— Nikhil Saluja

I hate when there's no more toilet paper and I have to bother the person in the next stall to help wipe…

— Nikhil Saluja

I feel like I understand you.

— Nikhil Saluja

Everytime I find a dead body, I wish it was a pizza. Every time.

— Nikhil Saluja

If you can remain calm, you don't have all the facts.

— Nikhil Saluja

MARRIAGE, A process much like a cafeteria -- you carefully look over the choices, select what looks the best -- and pay…

— Nikhil Saluja

LOVE, That delightful interval between meeting a beautiful girl and discovering that she looks like a haddock {John Barrymore};

— Nikhil Saluja

Ahhh...I see the know-it-all fairy has visited us again.

— Nikhil Saluja

There are caregivers and there are caretakers, and yet the two words are not opposites. Why is this?

— Nikhil Saluja

If you don't pay your exorcist you get repossessed.

— Nikhil Saluja

When you thought I wasn't looking I heard you say a prayer, and I knew that there is a God I could…

— Nikhil Saluja

Relationship Status: Shaved. Just in case.

— Nikhil Saluja

The follower counts should be hidden so we can be fair and judge people only by the quality of their tweets.

— Nikhil Saluja

WIFE, What a man blames things on when he can't figure a way to blame the government;

— Nikhil Saluja

If a guy says he's not in mood to talk with a girl. He probably have masturbated few seconds ago.

— Nikhil Saluja

Sex with anthropomorphs - compare the market

— Nikhil Saluja

It's hard to make a comeback When you haven't been anywhere.

— Nikhil Saluja