Witty Quotes by Nikhil Saluja · Page 22

If cheerleading is a sport then so is beer pong.

— Nikhil Saluja

I hate it when I have a tweet in my head and my friends doesn't retweet it.

— Nikhil Saluja

When do these twitter girls will realize that boys are usually following them or retweeting them for sexting & not for their tweets?

— Nikhil Saluja

I should be ashamed of yourself.

— Nikhil Saluja

What was the first tweet of twitter? Probably about assholes coming soon.

— Nikhil Saluja

Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

— Nikhil Saluja

My biggest problem is falling in love with those who retweet me,

— Nikhil Saluja

Women speak in estrogen. Men listen in testosterone.

— Nikhil Saluja

Women love sex in the dark because they can't stand to see a man have a good time.

— Nikhil Saluja

Remember, ladies: mouthwash is still cheaper than an abortion.

— Nikhil Saluja

Life: One word is enough.

— Nikhil Saluja

Resource Optimization Team thinks they don't need a man or woman; they'll produce a child with zero resources.

— Nikhil Saluja

What's the point of going out? We're just going to wind up back here anyway.

— Nikhil Saluja

You know you're on your period when everyone around you has an attitude problem.

— Nikhil Saluja

MARRIAGE, Something which is called a feast -- unfortunately, sometimes the appetiser is better than the main course;

— Nikhil Saluja

I don't have anger issues, I have issues with idiots who make me angry.

— Nikhil Saluja

Joan Rivers turned into one of the people she used to make fun of.

— Nikhil Saluja

When you have a bunch of cash in your wallet, you'll buy anything. But the last 10$ can last an entire week..

— Nikhil Saluja

DEMOCRACY You have two cows. The government taxes you to the point that you must sell them both in order to pay…

— Nikhil Saluja

Cuts onion. Onion cries.

— Nikhil Saluja

You can't spell love without I want to jump off a fucking bridge.

— Nikhil Saluja

You are beautiful... when you don't need a mirror to tell you.

— Nikhil Saluja

I just need a search engine that'll remember exactly what I was about to Google when I forget.

— Nikhil Saluja

MARRIAGE, A condition where no wife gets what she expected, and no husband expected what he was getting;

— Nikhil Saluja

Dear Brain, can you please shut the fuck up so I can sleep?

— Nikhil Saluja