Any mother with half a skull knows that when Daddy's little boy becomes Mommy's little boy, the kid is so wet he's… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
For some unexplained reason, it's always the other end of the table that's wild and raucous, with screaming laughter and a fella… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
There's something wrong with a mother who washes out a measuring cup with soap and water after she's only measured water in… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
When a child is locked in the bathroom with water running and he says he's doing nothing but the dog is barking,… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
When it comes to cooking, five years ago I felt guilty "just adding water." Now I want to bang the tube against… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
To my way of thinking, the American family started to decline when parents began to communicate with their children. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
The woman who says, 'My kids are all speaking to one another and they love us' is a psychopathic liar. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
To say, "Well, I write when I really get into it" is a bunch of bull. Put the paper in the typewriter, stare at… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
Just think of all those women on the Titanic who said, 'No thank you' to desert that night. And for what?! — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
The mole rat is the only rodent born without a fur coat. With a good lawyer, someone would pay for that little oversight. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
Making coffee has become the great compromise of the decade. It's the only thing "real" men do that doesn't seem to threaten their masculinity.… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
