Toilets Quotes · Page 6

There is only one immutable law in life - in a gentleman's toilet, incoming traffic has the right of way.

— Hugh Leonard

So it just wasn't in my house. Anywhere, I looked like I knew about the toilet.

— Sarah Dessen

There is nothing like scrubbing toilets for a living to make you question the choices you have made in life.

— Raegan Butcher

I propose a limitation be put on how many squares of toilet paper can be used in any one sitting.

— Sheryl Crow

I smoke so much weed that you wouldn't believe and I get more ass then a toilet seat.

— Nate Dogg

The Australian backyard was once built for tradesmen and outdoor toilets. As suburbs spread, it became a playground and source of pride...

— Pete Munro

Sometimes, to relieve stress, he would soak his feet in the toilet, a practice that was not as soothing for his collegues.

— Walter Isaacson

Australia is an outdoor country. People only go inside to use the toilet. And that's only a recent development.

— Barry Humphries

I was thinking about dying the other day the death thought came while I was sitting on the toilet peeing - that's…

— Madonna Ciccone

Is it possible that my sons-in-law will do toilets? If we raise boys to know that diapers need to be changed and…

— Anne Roiphe

Baby," groaned the guy-Ted? Tad?-something like that-and crushed his lips against the side of her neck, shoving her face against the wall…

— Jennifer Weiner

I don't know why no one ever thought to paste a label on the toilet-tissue spindle giving 1-2-3 directions for replacing the…

— Erma Bombeck

You can't put toilet paper in the toilet [in the space ship], so there's a separate vacuum can in front of you…

— Mike Mullane

Online, you're providing each other with the good aspects of being together as far as communication and support, but you don't have…

— Nev Schulman

In Marseilles they make half the toilet soap we consume in America, but the Marseillaise only have a vague theoretical idea of…

— Mark Twain

I must break out... ...start a new life... been here for years... might be getting into a rut... something a bit more…

— Raymond Briggs

Admittedly, I do have several bones... whole war fields full of bones, in fact... to pick with organised religion of whatever stripe.…

— Alan Moore

The best time to write is when your life is in the toilet. Writing offers an escape from your problems, so if…

— Sabrina Jeffries

Museums just seem to have this borrowed cachet—if I want to seem cultural, I will design something cultural. I resist the idea…

— Thomas Heatherwick

Let me speak frankly: separate but equal is a fraud. It is the language that tried to push Rosa Parks to the…

— David Lammy

I did an internship at the Ardent theatre company in Philly after dropping out of college. I was earning $165 a week…

— Jill Scott

All lives have equal value. And so you say, 'why do poor children die when other children don't? Why do some people…

— Bill Gates

The way we live our daily lives is what most effects the situation of the world. If we can change our daily…

— Nhat Hanh

I sat on a toilet watching the water run thinking what an odd thing tourism is. You fly off to a strange…

— Bill Bryson

We built everything - toilets included. I think those islands in the middle of nowhere are quite poetic. It's kind of an…

— Karl Lagerfeld

If we all had what we wanted to eat... We'd have inflation in the toilet paper industry.

— Jim Thompson

“Dress kinda tough-like ‘ya, I can handle toilets.’ Dress with authority over a toilet.”

— Ashley Alcantar

Maybe I've moved to the dark side, but it's clean and nice and we never run out of toilet paper.

— Jen Lancaster

“So if he'd been a plumber, ___ _____ would've been about toilets?" Left blank to avoid spoilers but this is just too funny :)”

— Jeri Smith-Ready

The toilets at a local police station have been stolen. Police say they have nothing to go on.

— Ronnie Barker

The miracle of modern science. The LEP pours millions into your department, Foaly, and all you can do is send Mud Boys…

— Eoin Colfer

“There are some things people see in toilets that they wish they hadn’t. What Trevor Hawkins sees might even cost him his…

— Rob Johnson

I started off cleaning toilets when I was a kid and I've had loads of jobs and I just kept working and…

— Lee Evans

Under Swachh Bharat initiative, the government has built nine crore toilets.

— Ram Nath Kovind

There’s nothing here,” Carter said. “What do you want?” I asked. “We’ve got wax, some toilet papyrus, an ugly statue.

— Rick Riordan

Success is like toilet paper, it only seems important when you don't have it.

— Richard Jeni

I’ll flush a copy of my bill down the toilet. You should be getting it in a couple of days.

— John Swartzwelder

Undermine the entire economic structure of society by leaving the pay toilet door ajar so the next person can get in free.

— Taylor Mead

I've learned that life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.

— Andy Rooney

You know you're lazy when you run out of toilet paper and use the cardboard roll to wipe with.

— Dane Cook