Thinking Quotes by Demetri Martin · Page 2

I like shorter jokes. I like fewer words. I think the more ideas there are the, the fewer words there should be.

— Demetri Martin

I call it 'new forms'. When you're starting out, they ask you to do four or five minute sets, but once you're…

— Demetri Martin

Stand up is really fun because if I think of a joke or a funny idea, then I can just go and…

— Demetri Martin

If you really think about it, hitting the snooze button in the morning doesn't even make sense. It's like saying, 'I hate…

— Demetri Martin

I do come across people who don't like me, don't like my comedy, don't think it's funny, it's too cutesy, or whatever…

— Demetri Martin

I think, at first blush, the '60s always enticed me. There's something about the '60s, it's not hard to like it.

— Demetri Martin

I think that when you get dressed in the morning, sometimes you're really making a decision about your behavior for the day.…

— Demetri Martin

I think it's cool when an ex-girlfriend becomes an XL girlfriend.

— Demetri Martin

I think bears and worms aren't very similar... until you think of gummy.

— Demetri Martin

I think it's interesting that cologne rhymes with alone.

— Demetri Martin

I think it would be cool if you were writing a ransom note on your computer, if the paper clip popped up…

— Demetri Martin

I don't know if I'll ever be a master at anything, but I think that's a mistake for me personally. I don't…

— Demetri Martin

Palindromes are the number one conversation stopper, like party killer, I think I've ever seen.

— Demetri Martin

I think the most annoying language is a tie between all the ones I don't know how to speak.

— Demetri Martin

I think since I was kid people told me that they thought I was funny.

— Demetri Martin

I think the best thing about being dumb is that it makes magic a lot better. Where the hell did that rat…

— Demetri Martin

I am the Walrus, but not the one you're probably thinking of. I am the other Walrus, the one who is less…

— Demetri Martin

I think it would be frustrating to be a match maker. "What do you do?" "I'm a match maker" "Aw, that's really…

— Demetri Martin

I think there's a difference between making comedy and reporting comedy. When you're a joke teller you can easily fall into the…

— Demetri Martin

I think they should put pies on the fronts of trains, so that when they hit something it's at least a little…

— Demetri Martin

It's funny: when people always talk about the importance of role models, I used to think that was so exaggerated, but as…

— Demetri Martin

I noticed that there are no B batteries. I think that's to avoid confusion, cause if there were you wouldn't know if…

— Demetri Martin

I don't know what the long form of OK is. I wanna think it's okie dokie. 'I'm okie dokie. I'm a little…

— Demetri Martin

I think as a performer, it can be really great to stand on stage, especially when you have more time, but I…

— Demetri Martin

Never forget where you came from. That's what I think when I walk into a cave.

— Demetri Martin