Jesse Jackson's in trouble. They're going after this tax thing. Jesse said he will amend his taxes to show the money that… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Here at work, obviously, I make the most money of anyone on the show, so I try to be the first one… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Scientists are complaining that the new dinosaur movie shows dinosaurs with lemurs, who didn't evolve for another million years. They're afraid the… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
When a candidate walks away from a reality show, that's when you know they're serious about being president of the United States. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
John Kerry says that he wants to debate President Bush once a month until the election. This could be a risky move… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
A man in Florida has been arrested for wearing a President Obama mask while robbing a McDonald's. To show you how good… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Studies show American students are becoming less proficient in math. Experts say we should have seen this coming, but nobody could put… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Did you hear about this 20-year-old kid named John Walker from Northern California who was apparently fighting for the Taliban?... It didn't… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Show business pays you a lot of money because eventually you’re gonna get screwed. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
John Kerry said today he wants to debate President Bush once a month. Hey good luck, if Bush couldn't make it to… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
The first lady said about her husband, 'I could take up a whole afternoon talking about his failures.' And today she was… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
There's this big pie in show business, and you physically can't eat the whole pie. If you give everybody a slice of… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
If you restore a car, and you're making money, then you're doing it wrong. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Bush reiterated his stand to conservatives opposing his decision on stem cell research. He said today he believes life begins at conception and ends… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
There is a nationwide shortage of drugs for Attention Deficit Disorder. The FDA says they're not sure how it happened. I guess somebody wasn't… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
“Leno said the rainy weather in California "couldn't have come at a worse possible time. Today was the day NBC was supposed to burn… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Donald Trump said he will not decide about a possible run for the presidency until after the current season of Celebrity Apprentice wraps up.… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
American forces in Iraq found $650 million in American cash sealed in a hidden cottage. See, this is why President Bush wants to invade… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
I wanted to have a career in sports when I was young, but I had to give up the idea. I'm only six feet… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Texas Gov. Rick Perry referred to the Mexican city of Juarez as the most dangerous city in America. In his defense, he probably just… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
You can tell you ate too much for Thanksgiving when you have to let your bathrobe out. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
The Mayans have predicted the world is supposed to end on December 21. If the world doesn't end on December 21, you can bet… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
The Globe reports that North Korean dictator Kim Jong-Il raises money by selling fake Viagra pills. What it is about this guy? None of… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
