Oh, you're dating my ex...I thought the five second rule was for food only... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I don't really hate you, it's just that if you were on fire, I'd roast marshmallows.. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I like messed up people, and I try to associate with them as much as I possibly can. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The snow may be falling in the winter of my discontent, but at least I've got sarcastic company. — John Green Copy Share Image
Attention men! Your penis is not Pinocchio's nose! It will not get bigger if you lie! — Sarah Moores Copy Share Image
Really, if the lower orders don't set a good example, what on earth is the use of them? — Oscar Wilde Copy Share Image
I always hear people say that only God can judge them, but I guess its because they have never been to court. — Paballo Nhambiri Copy Share Image
I never play cricket. It requires one to assume such indecent postures. — Oscar Wilde Copy Share Image
It's all right for a perfect stranger to kiss your hand as long as he's perfect. — Mae West Copy Share Image
I thought I dreamed you." The words whisper from my parched throat. His head tilts to one side, his mouth shifting to… — Tammara Webber Copy Share Image
I'm a few minutes late to class? Please, stare at me like I just killed five people. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
He was a solemn, unsmiling, sanctimonious old iceberg who looked like he was waiting for a vacancy in the Trinity. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
A great many people now reading and writing would be better employed keeping rabbits. — Edith Sitwell Copy Share Image
EXTINCTION, n. The raw material out of which theology created the future state. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
My son Cooper has just turned ten and the sarcasm fairy has already started to take up residence inside his body. Not… — Melissa Rivers Copy Share Image
