Sarcastic Quotes · Page 4

The triumph of sugar over diabetes.

— George Jean Nathan

The perfection of rottenness.

— William James

Sarcasm is a Manchester trait.

— Peter Hook

I do sarcasm really poorly.

— Brittany Murphy

Women like a man with a past, but they prefer a man with a present

— Mae West

Cheaters want you to be loyal while they're being unfaithful. Makes sense.

— Anonymous

How can He be perfect? Everything He ever makes...dies.

— George Carlin

[on pop idol Donny Osmond] He has Van Gogh's ear for music.

— Billy Wilder

Don't let your mind wander, it's far too small to be let out on its own.

— Anonymous

She never lets ideas interrupt the easy flow of her conversation.

— Jean Webster

She's the first in her family born without tail.

— Anonymous

Money can't buy friends, but you can get a better class of enemy.

— Spike Milligan

Gaia spins on, silently contemplating what it means to be born into a sarcastic universe.

— David Brin

A man is a king, a king is a ruler. A ruler is 12 inches, still think ur a man?

— Anonymous

I find myself to be quite sarcastic, and I wouldn't want to be with someone who didn't get that.

— Andrej Pejic

He's the only man I ever knew who had rubber pockets so he could steal soup.

— Wilson Mizner

Dear 11 year old on Facebook with 'It's complicated.' Seriously????? What did he do??? Steal your animal crackers??

— Anonymous

Whoa, what is this? Battle of the Sarcastic and Pissed? Should I make popcorn? Forget American Idol, man. This is much more…

— Sherrilyn Kenyon

You are not obnoxious like so many other people, you are obnoxious in a completely different and far worse way.

— Anonymous

I'm pretty sarcastic, and sometimes that doesn't come across on the Internet. It seems I'm being rude or stupid.

— Sky Ferreira

“There you are," Cardan says as I take my place beside him. "How has the night been going for you? Mine has…

— Holly Black

“Get the point?" I asked, offering the boys a triumphant smile. Gabriel, Zeb, and Dick stared at me, aghast. "What? Sarcastic postkill…

— Molly Harper

That young girl is one of the least benightedly unintelligent organic life forms it has been my profound lack of pleasure not…

— Douglas Adams

'Sit Here and Cry' was one of the first songs I wrote with that overdramatic sarcastic dry sense of humor, which is…

— Aubrie Sellers

This worked out perfectly for me in college, because what nineteen-year-old Virginia boy doesn't want a wide-hipped, sarcastic Greek girl with short…

— Tina Fey

Their demeanor is invariably morose, sullen, clownish and repulsive. I should think there is not, on the face of the earth, a…

— Charles Dickens

Oh I see you shine bright like a diamond huh? Well that's cool. I think I'll pass on my value and worth…

— Nicole Hill

A house is never still in darkness to those who listen intently; there is a whispering in distant chambers, an unearthly hand…

— James M. Barrie

I have witnessed and greatly enjoyed the first act of everything which Wagner created, but the effect on me has always been…

— Mark Twain

“That's good," I said. "And if you have a nice time this morning on the sands with your spade and bucket, you…

— P.G. Wodehouse

Curse the blasted, jelly-boned swines, the slimy, the belly-wriggling invertebrates, the miserable soddingrotters, the flaming sods, the sniveling, dribbling, dithering, palsied, pulse-less…

— D. H. Lawrence

On whether Blurred Lines' video is sexist: I don't. I really appreciate the people who watch out for that stuff, and I'm…

— Emily Ratajkowski

While [the Arians], like men sprung from a dunghill, truly "spoke from the earth" [Jn. 3:31], the bishops [of Nicea], not having…

— Athanasius of Alexandria

I noticed that all the prayers I used to offer to God, and all the prayers I now offer to Joe Pesci,…

— George Carlin

I don't want to get too much into my personal relationships but I will say I am actually doing the single thing…

— Matt Lanter

I don't know how you feel, but I'm pretty sick of church people. You know what they ought to do with churches?…

— George Carlin

Just because the kid's cute, doesn't mean you're not the father.

— Will Smith

The problem with these interviews is that there's no sarcastic font.

— Zach Galifianakis

A mental midget with the IQ of a fence post.

— Tom Waits

Join the Army, meet interesting people, kill them.

— Hemant Smarty