Sarcastic Quotes · Page 26

He was so narrow minded that if he fell on a pin it would blind him in both eyes.

— Fred Allen

Oh. So you chose a hoe for the night over the love of your life? Good choice.

— Anonymous

I've been fortunate - I haven't had too many auditions. I slept with the right people.

— Pamela Anderson

See this hand? Its going to descend in an arc that will, in the process, have contact with your face. Just warning…

— Humaira

A dictatorship would be a heck of a lot easier, there's no question about it.

— George W. Bush

The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity.

— George Carlin

You know you're getting old when everything hurts. And what doesn't hurt doesn't work.

— Hy Gardner

Debating against him is no fun, say something insulting and he looks at you like a whipped dog.

— Harold Wilson

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

— George Carlin

Individuals who have a sarcastic personality tend to be more honest & upfront, the type of people you want as friends.

— Anonymous

“God is always willing to give you the best life possible. If you change your mind at any time you are free…

— Shannon L. Alder

After more than half a century (Sleeping Beauty), Disney finally know what the meaning of true love (Maleficent).

— Alvin

Size does matter. There's a lot of ways to make people feel good, but personally I think it does enhance things.

— Pamela Anderson

I always like to know everything about my new friends, and nothing about my old ones.

— Oscar Wilde

“Rework on yourself. Even the finest masterpiece are not painted with the very first stroke of brush.”

— Sk Muskan Tabasum

I would like to live in Manchester, England. The transition between Manchester and death would be unnoticeable.

— Mark Twain

People always tell me "Have a nice day." Well what if I don't want to? What if I want to have a…

— George Carlin

It takes a lot of brain power to use sarcasm. The healthier your brain is, the easier it is to create a…

— Anonymous

Some of the secret joys of living are not found by rushing from point A to point B, but by inventing some…

— Douglas Pagels

“Never be SARCASTIC. A clever remark might gain you a few laughs but the butt of your remarks will be offended and…

— Gary L. Graybill

It's fun to be sarcastic, but now I'm able to express myself in a way that's much more sincere.

— Christina Ricci

Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

— Nikhil Saluja

I forgot to post on Facebook that I was going to the gym...Now this whole work-out was a waste of time.

— Keyzee

When people say life is short. What the hell??? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does!!! What can you do…

— Babloo

I don't mind you talking so much, as long as you don't mind me not listening.

— Anonymous

I went on a diet, stopped smoking dope, cut out the drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I lost two…

— Humaira

It is a fitting irony that under Richard Nixon, 'launder' became a dirty word

— William Zinsser

Though we adore men individually, we agree as a group they're rather stupid.

— Anonymous

The human race is lucky I'm a nice guy, otherwise only 1/4 of them would be alive right now.

— Anonymous

Pardon me, but you're obviously mistaking me for someone who gives a damn.

— Anonymous

Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.

— George Carlin

Having sarcastic friends will make you more creative. Sarcasm is a brain stimulant

— Anonymous

Arguments are extremely vulgar, for everybody in good society holds exactly the same opinions.

— Oscar Wilde

People seem to enjoy things more when they know a lot of other people have been left out of the pleasure.

— Russell Baker

I'm going to eat something I found on the ground ... and when I do, I'm going to say Yum Yum!

— Higher Grounds

If you're going to be a smartass first you have to be smart, otherwise you're just being an ass!

— Anonymous

Oh, it's sunny outside. I better update my Facebook status for all of my friends that don't have windows.

— Anonymous

It is true, I worry about the hype. The only person more over-hyped than me is you.

— Barack Obama

Never mumble some sarcastic shit to somebody who can obviously f*ck you up.

— Ice T

I see her as one great stampede of lips directed at the nearest derriere.

— Noel Coward