"And tired" always followed sick. Worst beating I ever got in my life, my mother said, "I am just sick..." And I… — Bill Cosby Copy Share Image
I love it when mothers get so mad they can't remember your name. "Come here, Roy, er, Rupert, er, Rutabaga... what is… — Bill Cosby Copy Share Image
And to those people with no children but who think they'd like to have them some day to fulfill their lives. Remember:… — Bill Cosby Copy Share Image
Kids need to remember that when you put something on Twitter, it's not like whispering to your friend, you've put it on… — Bill Cosby Copy Share Image
Guys standing around and talking about Spanish fly: 'You know anything about Spanish fly?' 'No, tell me about it.' Well there's this girl Crazy… — Bill Cosby Copy Share Image
Pay off your student loan. Even if you don't have a job...Because when you finally get a job you're going to be one of… — Bill Cosby Copy Share Image
Sex education may be a good idea in the schools, but I don't believe the kids should be given homework. — Bill Cosby Copy Share Image
Civilization had too many rules for me, so I did my best to rewrite them. — Bill Cosby Copy Share Image
Dentists tell you not to pick your teeth with any sharp metal object. Then you sit in their chair and the first thing they… — Bill Cosby Copy Share Image
When a person has a gun, sometimes their mind clicks that this thing will win arguments and straighten people out. — Bill Cosby Copy Share Image
The truth is that parents are not really interested in justice. They just want quiet. — Bill Cosby Copy Share Image
God has a sense of humor though and he must see funny things in us. He must also have some love. We're still here… — Bill Cosby Copy Share Image
I feel that in-person contact with people is the most important thing in comedy. While I'm up on stage, I can actually put myself… — Bill Cosby Copy Share Image
