EXECUTIVE, n. An officer of the Government, whose duty it is to enforce the wishes of the legislative power until such time… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Censor, n. An officer of certain governments, employed to supress the works of genius. Among the Romans the censor was an inspector… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
I keep a conscience uncorrupted by religion, a judgment undimmed by politics and patriotism, a heart untainted by friendships and sentiments unsoured… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
WASHINGTONIAN, n. A Potomac tribesman who exchanged the privilege of governing himself for the advantage of good government. In justice to him… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
DEGRADATION, n. One of the stages of moral and social progress from private station to political preferment. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Conservative, n: A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal who wishes to replace them with others. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
PRESBYTERIAN, n. One who holds the conviction that the government authorities of the Church should be called presbyters. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
PANDEMONIUM, n. Literally, the Place of All the Demons. Most of them have escaped into politics and finance, and the place is… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
OPPOSITION, n. In politics the party that prevents the Government from running amuck by hamstringing it. The King of Ghargaroo, who had… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Opposition, n. In politics the party that prevents the government from running amuck by hamstringing it. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
TENACITY, n. A certain quality of the human hand in its relation to the coin of the realm. It attains its highest… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
OUT-OF-DOORS, n. That part of one's environment upon which no government has been able to collect taxes. Chiefly useful to inspire poets. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
PUSH, n. One of the two things mainly conducive to success, especially in politics. The other is Pull. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
RECOUNT, n. In American politics, another throw of the dice, accorded to the player against whom they are loaded. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
POLITICIAN, n. An eel in the fundamental mud upon which the superstructure of organized society is reared. When he wriggles, he mistakes… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
REPRESENTATIVE, n. In national politics, a member of the Lower House in this world, and without discernible hope of promotion in the… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
OPPOSITION, n. In politics the party that prevents the Government from running amuck by hamstringing it. The King of Ghargaroo, who had… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
TRUST, n. In American politics, a large corporation composed in greater part of thrifty working men, widows of small means, orphans in… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
SAFETY-CLUTCH, n. A mechanical device acting automatically to prevent the fall of an elevator, or cage, in case of an accident to… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Consul - in American politics, a person who having failed to secure an office from the people is given one by the… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
OBSESSED, p.p. Vexed by an evil spirit, like the Gadarene swine and other critics. Obsession was once more common than it is now. Arasthus… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
DECIDE, v.i. To succumb to the preponderance of one set of influences over another set. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
IMMORAL, adj. Inexpedient. Whatever in the long run and with regard to the greater number of instances men find to be generally inexpedient comes… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
REVIEW, v.t. To set your wisdom (holding not a doubt of it./ Although in truth there's neither bone nor skin to it)/ At work… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
CLOCK, n. A machine of great moral value to man, allaying his concern for the future by reminding him what a lot of time… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
RUBBISH, n. Worthless matter, such as the religions, philosophies, literatures, arts and sciences of the tribes infesting the regions lying due south from Boreaplas. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
There was never a genius who was not thought a fool until he disclosed himself; whereas he is a fool then only. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Telephone, n. An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeable person keep his distance. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
WHANGDEPOOTENAWAH, n. In the Ojibwa tongue, disaster; an unexpected affliction that strikes hard. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Jealous, adj. Unduly concerned about the preservation of that which can be lost only if not worth keeping. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
RIDICULE, n. Words designed to show that the person of whom they are uttered is devoid of the dignity of character distinguishing him who… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
