It's good that people don't like you. That's good. It means that you are doing something interesting. — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
I wasn’t like 'Oh, I'm going to marry 50 Cent...' I mean, seriously. But I did like him. He's very sweet and… — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
Getting rewarded for being pregnant when you're a teenager? Are you serious? I mean, that makes me want to kill somebody. — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
[Late-night host] is not really a job for a woman. You can't have kids and be a late-night host.I mean Samantha Bee… — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
You should never be mean to other girls. I don't care what grade you're in. Be nice to people until you're my… — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
I wanted to kick Bruce in the taint. No one is just one thing. Many things contribute to the whole of a… — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
I hate when men think that money is gonna buy you happiness... I mean, it helps. — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
I don't mean to be a racist but if you're going to get raped by a Japanese guy, it's not going to… — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
I think the people I talk about are generally so stupid that they don't even know I'm saying bad things about them. I've run… — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
At some point during almost every romantic comedy, the female lead suddenly trips and falls, stumbling helplessly over something ridiculous like a leaf, and… — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
A federal grand jury is investigating allegations that David Copperfield raped, assaulted and threatened a woman he took to his private island in the… — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
It's been my experience that people who make proclamations about themselves are usually the opposite of what they claim to be. If someone is… — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
“My mother agreed to aid my abuse of alcohol but only if I promised never to tell my newly converted Mormon sister, whose identity… — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
I try to not overthink anything. I don't understand why nipples are nudity. Who cares? Men can show their nipples but if we have… — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
Seeing your mother naked is not something you easily recover from. Seeing your mother naked and jumping from one side of a king-sized bed… — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
I don't like the word 'alcoholic'. I like to think of myself as an advanced drinker. — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
I can remember my first one-night stand like it was yesterday. Well, maybe not the first. Or the second¦ or the fifth. Ill just… — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
“It was quite obvious that without severe behavior modification, this boy would grow up to be a serial killer.” — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
Why he would agree to install an eight-by-eight-foot fish tank and then not fill it with a single dolphin made me want to burn… — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
![“[Late-night host] is not really a job for a woman. You can't have kids and be a late-night host.I mean Samantha Bee has children, but you're there all day and all night. No one has a life outside of it. I would never try to have a family. I care much more about a career anyway, than having a…” quote by Chelsea Handler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/21d/chelsea-handler-887_all-night_late-night-host-is-not-really-a-job-for_2229366.jpg)
