I'm never going to get married again. Three strikes, you're out. I think if I would try to get married again in… — Roseanne Barr Copy Share Image
I have a huge crush on President George W. Bush. I saw him at a recent fundraiser, and he`s a babe. He`s… — Roseanne Barr Copy Share Image
Oh, hi. I been married thirteen years, and lemme tell you, it's a thrill to be out of the house. I never… — Roseanne Barr Copy Share Image
You may marry the man of your dreams, ladies, but fourteen years later you're married to a couch that burps. — Roseanne Barr Copy Share Image
The most out-there thing I’m saying is, ‘Don’t have babies. Don’t get married and have kids. Have a larger life than that. — Roseanne Barr Copy Share Image
My husband is almost as heavy as I am. We were married in adjoining churches. — Roseanne Barr Copy Share Image
There isn't a problem on this earth that a doughnut cannot make better. — Roseanne Barr Copy Share Image
I had left home (like all Jewish girls) in order to eat pork and take birth control pills. When I first shared an intimate… — Roseanne Barr Copy Share Image
Pot enables you to think clearly without any fear or any limits. It's a mind-expander, which is part of why it's illegal and why… — Roseanne Barr Copy Share Image
My dad taught me swears when I was a toddler, and I saw, at a really early age, that if I shocked people, I… — Roseanne Barr Copy Share Image
I always was a writer, but then I wanted to do stand-up because I thought that was a way that I could perform what… — Roseanne Barr Copy Share Image
I thank God for creating gay men. Because if it wasn't for them, us fat women would have no one to dance with. — Roseanne Barr Copy Share Image
“I consider myself to be apretty good judge of people...That's why I don't like any of them.” — Roseanne Barr Copy Share Image
Sometimes for me not throwing a tantrum is what running a marathon or swimming the English Channel must be like for others of a… — Roseanne Barr Copy Share Image
Here is my personal opinion about prostitution. If men knew how to do it, they wouldn't have to pay for it. — Roseanne Barr Copy Share Image
Finding a calm place inside myself through meditation kind of helped me to get over a lot of mental illness ... it's just been… — Roseanne Barr Copy Share Image
