If you think health care is expensive now, just wait 'til it's free. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I just wasn't cut out to be a Chinese Tiger Mom. I'm more of an Irish Setter Dad. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Just because a subject is serious doesn't mean it doesn't have plenty of absurdities. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The idea of capitalism is not just success but also the failure that allows success to happen. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The problem, when comparing contemporary television to television in 1974, is that TV has become not just bad but sad. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I've got a 1990 Porsche 911. It's just a Carrera, a very simple, straightforward little thing that goes like stink. I love it. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Teasing and a sense of humor, if you can develop that in your kids, and if you can exercise it with the… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Richard Nixon was the best thing that ever happened to journalism. I mean this guy was wonderful. Just when you thought he… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
If you talk to most businessmen, they'll say that what they do is for the public good, but you know they're just… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Bill Clinton is not a hypocrite. If a man believes that it is just and moral to redistribute wealth, there is nothing… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
All religious believers should be licensed to make sure that they are competent to hold opinions and viewpoints and that they don't… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
There's a love of rhetorical skill in the Muslim world. Osama bin Laden doesn't just go on tape cassettes and say, 'America… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Banning paper and plastic and making shoppers carry their groceries home in their mouths like dogs is just the thing to make… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
When I board an airplane these days, all the middle-aged men are dressed like me - when I was an 8-year-old. They're… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
They are just really stupid people in Hollywood. You write them a script, and they say they love it, they absolutely love… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Jimmy Carter was - he still - he remains to this day America's most ex of ex-presidents. You just can't believe that… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
In comparative terms, there's no poverty in America by a long shot. Heritage Foundation political scientist Robert Rector has worked up figures showing that… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The Democrats said, "We don't know what's wrong with America, but we can fix it." The Republicans said, "There's nothing wrong with America, and… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
At Epcot Center the Disney corporation has focused its attention on two things greatly in need of Disneyfication: the tedious future and the annoying… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
So-called Western Civilization, as practised in half of Europe, some of Asia and a few parts of North America, is better than anything else… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
My whole family can talk. They are all car salesmen. They are all funny. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
It was Ronald Reagan who used to say that the 10 most frightening words in the English language are, "I'm from the federal government,… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Gun violence has cost us too many political leaders, and hardly ever the worst ones. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Pete Seeger is a modest, unassuming, cheerful, and kind-natured man. He's a good folk singer, if you can stand folk singing. And he's such… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Journalists are notoriously easy to kid. All you have to do is speak to a journalist in a very serious tone of voice, and… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I like to think of my behavior in the sixties as a 'learning experience.' Then again, I like to think of anything stupid I've… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I'll be 56 this year, I've got two kids, and I think it's probably time to go back to writing one-glove jokes. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
