You want eggs with your jokes or just an ass whoopin.. Kids these days think there smarter than the average bear.. But… — Kevin McCarty Copy Share Image
I think of myself as a writer with a sense of humour rather than a comedy writer. Happy to tell a story… — Steven Moffat Copy Share Image
I could become like that dyslexic agnostic in the old joke - the one who lies in bed and tries to figure… — Anne Lamott Copy Share Image
There have always been jokes all over our songs; I originally started writing lyrics to make my friends crack a smile, which… — Alex Turner Copy Share Image
We must be able to deal with ridicule and scorn, which it always seems that Buddhists receive. But we feel that it… — Frederick Lenz Copy Share Image
Life, like the boring drunk at the office party, keeps seeking you out, leaning on you, killing you with pointless yarns and… — Glen Duncan Copy Share Image
It's kind of low brow, but the show 'Bob's Burgers' is hilarious, and being from the Midwest, I can kind of relate… — Gracie Gold Copy Share Image
I certainly got the jokes within the joke, dressing up in a wet suit, sitting in a Twingo, scaling a rubber mountain,… — Pierce Brosnan Copy Share Image
I'm just having fun making jokes and writing books. But you see me once a year, I come on when I have… — T.C. Boyle Copy Share Image
Start dating someone who is funny, someone who has what in high school you called a "really great sense of humor" and… — Lorrie Moore Copy Share Image
Well I was bullied at school, called all kinds of different names. But one day I turned to my bullies and said… — Harry Hill Copy Share Image
This is not really currency that circulates. It's like the old joke about expensive vintage wine. Wine prices will go up and… — Michael Hudson Copy Share Image
I'm not offended. Lenny Bruce taught me that everything's funny. You can make everything funny. I don't think that assassinations are funny,… — Larry King Copy Share Image
Working with Chaplin was very amusing and strange. His films are so funny, but working with him, I found him to be… — Tippi Hedren Copy Share Image
I am so pathetic with machines in real life, it's not a joke. I'd rather walk, or even run, than take the… — Bipasha Basu Copy Share Image
I describe it ( the new aesthetics) 'radically': I say aesthetics = human being. That is a radical formula. I set the… — Joseph Beuys Copy Share Image
I've always littered my songs with jokes. You might need to dig a little deeper to find the humor, but I would… — Cass McCombs Copy Share Image
“We would not be ashamed of doing some of the things we do in private, if the number of sane human beings… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
She laughed when there was no joke. She danced when there was no music. She had no friends, yet she was the… — Jerry Spinelli Copy Share Image
You know your girlfriend is too young when she'll do everything in bed but go upside down because it's too scary. — Daniel Tosh Copy Share Image
Blank 1 Told Blank 3 something about Blank 2. Now Blank 2 Is Pissed Because Blank 3 Told On Blank 1. Now Blank 1 Want To Fight Blank 3. — Tee Shepard Copy Share Image
I really like comedy. There's always a choice, when you're writing: you can either go for the joke or you can go… — David Chase Copy Share Image
Before you joke someone,make sure he's not in a bad mood.. If so,make sure your joke would not hurt him even more.. — Sachithra Copy Share Image
But there's times when I like to find the strange angles to something. People go, 'I heard a lot of jokes like… — Godfrey Copy Share Image
Whatever is funny is subversive, every joke is ultimately a custard pie... a dirty joke is a sort of mental rebellion. — George Orwell Copy Share Image
Whether people grow fat by joking, or whether there is something in fat itself which predisposes to a joke, I have never… — Edgar Allan Poe Copy Share Image
I think my sense of humor is really dark and super twisted and stuff like that. It's like, "Is this a funny… — Kanye West Copy Share Image
If I do not do sensible things about investments I shall spend my old age in a workhouse, where nobody will understand… — Rebecca West Copy Share Image
I don't think I would be a good politician. I kid about it when I get a standing ovation. Sometimes I'll say,… — Liberace Copy Share Image
Arguing with a teenager is like wrestling in the mud with a pig...sooner or later you realise that they enjoy it! — Simi Ngr Copy Share Image
As comedians, we are all laughing because life is so horrible. Life is so difficult, and I cope with it by making… — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
“Our world will not die as a result of the bomb, as the papers say, it will die of laughter, of banality, of making… — Carlos Ruiz Zafon Copy Share Image
If you work on a lobster boat, sneaking up behind someone and pinching him is probably a joke that gets old real… — Jack Handey Copy Share Image
Twitter taught me how to become better at writing jokes because it forces you to chip away at all the extraneous words. — Peter Serafinowicz Copy Share Image
What I usually do is tell funny stories from the road, many of which are, of course, unprintable. But I don't actually… — Howard Dean Copy Share Image
I understand what a normal political speech is. You get up there, tell a few jokes, you have the flags behind you,… — Bernie Sanders Copy Share Image
I like George Carlin's jokes. I like his humor. He's one of my heroes, and I like what he did with talking… — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
When I'm writing columns, it's - all I'm thinking about is jokes, joke, joke, joke, setup, punch line, joke, joke, joke. And… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Kissing at the top, holding at the middle fire at the bottom. Do you know what is it? What ? Don't think… — Pacifiersucker Copy Share Image
If you had a donkey and I had a chicken and if your donkey ate my chicken what will you have? Three… — Unkown Copy Share Image
