I'm trying to fix your mother's camera. Easy, easy - Hmmm. I think I need a bigger drill. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Gasp Reflex : The reaction of a new father when he sees the new mother's breasts. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Well, crying isn't gonna bring him back, unless your tears smell like dog food. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If someone stole your tweet just write 50 more tweets or have them murdered. Simple. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If you convince me to make me think WHAT THE FUCK you instantly get a retweet. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Politician: Whoever shakes your hand before elections and your wallet after elections. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Did you hear about the new reversible jackets? I can't wait to see how they turn out. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Don't Take It Seriously * When the HAIRDRESSER says, Do you want it teased or blown? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
It's only happy hour if a hot girl is sharing your drinks. Otherwise it's just drowning your misery. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
You know you've drank too much when you actually ask your wife to drive you home. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Sometimes I want to sit on my right hand so it feels like someone else is stopping me from masturbating. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Men...we spend nine months trying to get out of a vagina, and the rest of our lives trying to get back in. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Nurse: A woman that wakes you up in the middle of the night to give you sleeping pills. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, then we can be good friends. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If I said It would take too long to explain. I really meant I have no idea how it works. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Sometimes I look at my awesome twitter followers & think to myself, What the hell would I do without them :) — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I won't be tweeting this sunday. I have better things to do like bashing myself by following girls on streets. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I don't wanna discuss about it - People who want to discuss about it. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Men and women shop differently. Men know what they want before they see it. Women don't know what they want until they see it. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I used to receive virtual smiles, sweet morning and night greetings. Now all I have is silence, and a blistered heart. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
