“WHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT? Ah. I see we are now into the second movement of the Nakamura Suite in G-Minor!” — Kevin Sylvester Copy Share Image
I think Amy Poehler and Tina Fey have done so much for women in comedy in the sense that they've normalized it.… — Tatiana Maslany Copy Share Image
If there were some people who considered me a joke, I'm sorry about that. But I did not do it for any… — Eddie the Eagle Copy Share Image
“Atoms are round balls of wood invented by Dr. Dalton. (Answer given by a pupil to a question on atomic theory, as… — Henry Enfield Roscoe Copy Share Image
I believe in three-act structure. When I say that to novel people, or people in the world of books, they go, 'Well,… — Stephen J. Cannell Copy Share Image
Chemar Holder plays Xbox with me online all the time but it's not like any of us are going to be buddy,… — Jofra Archer Copy Share Image
“You know, Mac,”Cadmus said still looking out the window. “We may have to work on the way we tell our story …apparently… — Sulari Gentill Copy Share Image
“I definitely believe marijuana helps with menstruation. Since I started smoking pot, my girlfriend’s period has become painless for me” — Randy Kagan Copy Share Image
We didn't have electricity when I was a kid. We had to watch TV by candlelight. No, that's a silly joke. — Glen Campbell Copy Share Image
I've had people tell me that I should just be sad and not joke around on Twitter, but they don't understand that… — Perfume Genius Copy Share Image
I think we are aware that post-racialism isn't real, right? I mean, I hope so. I kind of joke that we're post-post-racial. — Justin Simien Copy Share Image
I have a file of four million jokes... I have them cross-indexed. Whatever subject you want, I have a joke on it. — Milton Berle Copy Share Image
My group of friends, we sort of go at each other pretty hard sometimes. And it's half performance, half truth that you… — Andrew Rannells Copy Share Image
I think about my dad and how tough he had it. They treated us a lot better in our minor league system,… — Cody Bellinger Copy Share Image
“To evade insanity and depression, we unconsciously limit the number of people toward whom we are sincerely sympathetic.” — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
I know from doing stand-up, I don't want to do a joke that I don't trust. — Neal Brennan Copy Share Image
In our traditional culture, people have a very different view towards nature than in Western culture. We consider humans as part of… — Ma Yansong Copy Share Image
Self-love means something. I thought it was all a joke for a long time. It's really important. Giving yourself a break is… — Lindsay Shookus Copy Share Image
Historically, Heathrow has been something of a joke, outweighed by its excellent connections. We have to aspire to having an airport at… — Philip Hammond Copy Share Image
I was never a joke teller. I don't even like jokes, for the most part. I don't like to hear them, and… — Ed O'Neill Copy Share Image
Half of being a comedian is knowing how to pace a joke, how to say it, so someone else could be given… — Janelle James Copy Share Image
We get the worrywart, the hypochondriac, the money-grubbing miser, the intractable negotiator... Some would say certain of these refer to the stereotypical,… — Alan King Copy Share Image
There's an old joke that politics is Hollywood for ugly people. An awful lot of the press coverage about Washington reads like… — Ted Cruz Copy Share Image
I tend to think some things are off-limits. Not in the sense that you should not be able to say them, but… — Stuart Hall Copy Share Image
I know what I want to talk about, but I don't really know what's funny about a joke until I perform it… — James Acaster Copy Share Image
