Awake Quote by Jimmy Fallon Download Open image “Honestly, I just want to keep people awake. Or at least give you one joke to go to bed with.” — Jimmy Fallon ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ 4.3 out of 5 (3 ratings) Copy quoteShare Awake Bed Giving Honestly Jokes People Want
I'm on so late I'm definitely the last seconds of anyone's attention. So I just want to give them something dumb to laugh at,… — Jimmy Fallon Copy Share Image
I have jokes I've told before and will tell again, but my favorite part of the night is talking to the crowd. — Paula Poundstone Copy Share Image
Most practical jokes, I'll feel too bad for the other person so I'll stop just before the punchline. — Larry David Copy Share Image
I'm not too keen on jokes that are one-liners. I want the situation to be funny. — Philippe Falardeau Copy Share Image
I love jokes, but God, jokes can go so wrong. I have stayed up many nights thinking, "F**k. I can't believe I made that… — Drew Barrymore Copy Share Image
Goodnight young party people. Im fast asleep. Tired of all night partying. Need some rest. — Shennon Fabiano Copy Share Image
I'm not the type of guy who's funny in the room. I'm the guy who's funny late at night on a computer, trying to… — Scott Aukerman Copy Share Image
I can't tell a joke to save my soul. It's just not my thing, though I love to listen to jokes. — Carol Burnett Copy Share Image
A new survey found that 12 percent of parents punish their kids by banning social networking sites. The other 88 percent punish their kids… — Jimmy Fallon Copy Share Image
I read that as marijuana legalization becomes more popular, it could affect the jobs of drug-sniffing dogs. Or as those dogs put it, 'Thanks,… — Jimmy Fallon Copy Share Image
NASA is developing space taxis to shuttle astronauts to the International Space Station. And just like New York taxis, they're all going to be… — Jimmy Fallon Copy Share Image
In a recent attack ad, the NRA claims that President Obama cares about his own children more than he cares about other children. In… — Jimmy Fallon Copy Share Image
After Donald Trump wrote Lindsey Graham's cellphone number on a piece of paper and showed it to everybody, Graham said he's getting a new… — Jimmy Fallon Copy Share Image
Yesterday on CNN, Joe Biden said he hasn't made up his mind about whether he'll run for president in 2016. Which raises the question:… — Jimmy Fallon Copy Share Image
A clothing company is making T-shirts inspired by Bernie Sanders with messages like 'Feel the Bern.' They were gonna make them for Lincoln Chafee… — Jimmy Fallon Copy Share Image
Arizona just became the 15th state to approve medical marijuana. So I give it three days before they stop caring about the whole immigration… — Jimmy Fallon Copy Share Image
I became a Yankees fan for a few years. But now, I gotta say, I'm really rooting for the Red Sox. — Jimmy Fallon Copy Share Image
My dream was to grow up and get a job at IBM, like my dad. That seemed like a logical dream. — Jimmy Fallon Copy Share Image
The federal government is starting to plan for climate change by making extended forecasts that can help people plan for extreme weather - because… — Jimmy Fallon Copy Share Image
Yesterday, the Supreme Court spent over an hour listening to arguments on whether Obamacare is unconstitutional. Yeah, listening to arguments about Obamacare for an… — Jimmy Fallon Copy Share Image
“I am awake. I know what you took. I am coming for you. Vengeance is mine.” — Robin Burks Copy Share Image
Reagan was sitting up at Cath's desk when Cath woke up. "Are you awake?" "Have you been watching me sleep?" "Yes, Bella. Are you… — Rainbow Rowell Copy Share Image
“Are you awake?” “Have you been watching me sleep?” “Yes, Bella. Are you awake?” “No.” — Rainbow Rowell Copy Share Image
“Have courage for the great sorrows of life, and patience for the small ones. And when you have finished your daily task, go to… — Victor Hugo Copy Share Image
One of his students asked Buddha, "Are you the Messiah?" "No," answered Buddha. "Then are you a healer?" "No," Buddha replied. "Then are you… — Gautama Buddha Copy Share Image
“I had a chat with May and I had a sweet talk with April but the lovely conversation that left me to ponder was… — Ernest Agyemang Yeboah Copy Share Image
If your heart isn't yet illumined Be awake always, be a seeker of the heart, Be at war continually with your carnal soul. But… — Rumi Copy Share Image
Wherever I went I felt like the last person awake in a room full of sleepers — Tim Winton Copy Share Image
I'd just like to see athletes awake. And aware. There's so much going on and so much to know... We stay in our little… — Hannah Teter Copy Share Image
As your awareness of the riches available to you in your everyday life grows, you are on the way to becoming the laughing Buddha.… — Susan Jeffers Copy Share Image
“Think of it this way, Mara. We don’t have the power to make the sun rise, but we can choose to be awake when… — Sharon Garlough Brown Copy Share Image