Americans do believe in progress and there is almost certainly a kernel of truth in the joke. — Alan Dundes Copy Share Image
You can't laugh at the same joke again and again, but why do you keep crying over the same thing over and… — Zhat Copy Share Image
Every joke is either taken by ads or The Simpsons. It's all about being able to get your ideas out into the… — Rich Fulcher Copy Share Image
“Death is another story. I will never make a joke about death. It is beyond my powers.” — Mario Puzo Copy Share Image
If I sit down to write a joke about, whatever, the polluted Gulf of Mexico, it comes out mundane to me. — Ron White Copy Share Image
It is a great rush to come up with a joke that gets a good response from the audience. It's gold! — Kevin Nealon Copy Share Image
When you haven't got a job, a joke is about the only thing that's free. — Simon Beaufoy Copy Share Image
I don't believe in acting teachers for me, so it's God's joke that he gave me a best friend who's an acting… — Laurence Fishburne Copy Share Image
In earlier comics, my only priority was telling a joke in the last panel, but now I try to make every panel… — Ryan North Copy Share Image
In comedy, I often see so many weird race jokes, and it's like, there is no racial diversity in your show to… — Michaela Coel Copy Share Image
“As and old (and clandestine) Soviet joke used to express it, the problem with the past...is that it is always so unpredictable.” — Francis X. Blouin Jr Copy Share Image
Most shows find themselves descending into sentimentality or earnestness at some point but, with 'Community,' the joke is always on. — Miranda Raison Copy Share Image
Gerrard was probably my biggest one. The character he had was world class and then you add on his ability and it's… — Jude Bellingham Copy Share Image
I was a bit scared because I came from the acting world. There was a fear that people would think of me… — Jana Kramer Copy Share Image
Stand-up comedy is what I do, and it's so rewarding. If you write a joke and tell it to an audience of… — Michael McIntyre Copy Share Image
You have to have a laugh and a joke. If you spend five days playing a Test match and so much time… — Joe Root Copy Share Image
“Your ass is flapping in the breeze,” Maddox warned with what felt like his first real laugh since this whole thing started.… — Annabeth Albert Copy Share Image
“Perhaps I can make you understand. Let’s start from the beginning. A man is hired to give advice to the readers of… — Nathanael West Copy Share Image
I have never fit into this town, this marriage, this skin. I am the child who was picked last to play tag;… — Jodi Picoult Copy Share Image
“I wish the Fallen would just come to us for a change.” Ironically, Fallen Angels dropped from the sky and surrounded us.… — Laura Kreitzer Copy Share Image
Seems i've crossed the line again for being nothing more than who I am. So, break my bones and throw your stones.… — Shinedown Copy Share Image
I feel like until you're with the person, the person you end up marrying, you don't ever really know what you're looking… — Ryan Guzman Copy Share Image
“There was an old joke about being left on a deserted island with an editor. You are starving. All you have left… — Harlan Coben Copy Share Image
“What was that?” I croaked. Akhol sidestepped into my view and towered over us. “It was a Demon.” “But you said—” “I… — Laura Kreitzer Copy Share Image
“Every single person is a fool, insane, a failure, or a bad person to at least ten people.” — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
“You really should learn how to take a joke, as easily as you take a dick." -Shirley” — Charli McBride Copy Share Image
I always joke that everything else that I do is to support my theater habit. — Megan Hilty Copy Share Image
Is everything a joke to you?” I asked. He dabbed his tongue to his lip again. “Not everything.” “Like what?” “You. — Becca Fitzpatrick Copy Share Image
If I can't face my accusers, that's a joke. We did that in medieval times. — Lance Armstrong Copy Share Image
On Twitter, people just want to hear a joke. They don't really want to know about your life. — Jenny Mollen Copy Share Image
I always joke about how I get excited to go to the grocery store without permission. — Megan Phelps-Roper Copy Share Image
When someone says, 'I recognize you,' I'll say, 'Congratulations on having a TV.' It's a little joke. — Willam Belli Copy Share Image
I've realized that I can never not do the nail salon joke, and I will have to talk about Bon Qui Qui… — Anjelah Johnson Copy Share Image
I never used to be as good, you get better. I've just gotten better and quicker at figuring out the joke. — Gerry Dee Copy Share Image
“The saddest task for the ironist is having to tell the listener that it's a joke, because of course it is never… — Paul Theroux Copy Share Image
You could read Kant by yourself, if you wanted; but you must share a joke with some one else. — Robert Louis Stevenson Copy Share Image
“Taking good care of your husband or wife is the best way to thank their parent or parents for having taken good… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
