I tried taking everything in Life with a grain of salt, but after using up two bags of salt, I gave up. — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
The thing that's changed the way I do my stand-up act is having kids and getting older and wiser and smarter. There… — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share Image
I'm not good with jokes, no. I don't know a joke at all. I like being told jokes, but I can't tell… — James DeGale Copy Share Image
Someone said to me at a party once, 'Oh, yeah, you're a comedian? Then how come you're not funny now?' And I… — Mike Birbiglia Copy Share Image
I think the big spin we were able to put on it was most hidden camera shows, the people that don't know… — Brian Quinn Copy Share Image
What I joke about is that you can know who you're playing against before the game, and then, at 60 minutes, when… — Ben White Copy Share Image
My brother was listening to his transistor radio. He kept switching the earpiece from one ear to the other, which I thought… — Jane Lynch Copy Share Image
You can crack a joke and make a person smile but it matters a lot when that's on screen. It can be… — Jitendra Kumar Copy Share Image
Some girls too day crazy how can she do such a thing,WHAT HAPPEN? she just pollute the meeting room!!,WHAT DID SHE TAKE… — Juniorjk Copy Share Image
I joke that I learned the essentials of storytelling from Hanna-Barbera, but I pretty much did. That kind of television is what… — Kurt Sutter Copy Share Image
Humor is a huge part of the way I operate; if people can't understand a joke then they should not follow me. — Shibani Dandekar Copy Share Image
The bad thing about being a famous comedian is that every now and then someone approaches me to tell an old joke.… — Robin Williams Copy Share Image
My team-mates at Inter mock me when we are training. 'Stop running, let us win for a change,' they joke. But as… — Javier Zanetti Copy Share Image
With music there's so many limbs and facets. Video and touring and merchandise and all those little things require attention. They're artist… — Devendra Banhart Copy Share Image
You learn timing on the road. You learn structure and how to read an audience. You learn so much about the business… — Marlon Wayans Copy Share Image
I cannot tell a joke. But I can do a situation, that it becomes a joke. — Don Rickles Copy Share Image
There used to be a cruel joke that said Brazil is the country of the future, and always will be; Obama is… — Charles Krauthammer Copy Share Image
“Fuck it... That's really the attitude that keeps a family together, it's not "we love each other", it's just "fuck it, man.” — Louis C.K Copy Share Image
I think more than anything, as a comedian, I grow tired of the unoriginality of 'crazy cat lady' jokes. It's a hacky… — Iliza Shlesinger Copy Share Image
