Once you do a joke and it works it's only good for so long, like shooting fish in a barrel. — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
Any private security is a joke in a country where you're up against your own government. — Bidzina Ivanishvili Copy Share Image
It's a very young mistake to assume that life is very serious. I get the joke now. — Claire Danes Copy Share Image
I as an individual can always take a joke on me, big time, there's no doubt on that. — Kiku Sharda Copy Share Image
When you've heard every short people joke possible, but people tell you them anyways. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I like there to be a joke in practically every photo I take. Nobody has the right to make photography boring. — Norman Parkinson Copy Share Image
Its not nice to make a joke about someone, just because you wanna laugh with your friends. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'm not even really a joke-teller. I can do ad-lib and banter, but I don't do jokes. — Bruce Forsyth Copy Share Image
I had this website that, at one point, I listed myself as 'actor, writer, comedian, and fart enthusiast' just because I thought… — Thomas Middleditch Copy Share Image
My brother Peter was always the life of the party, and so the running joke for the first 12 years of my… — Benjamin Bratt Copy Share Image
I don't worry about the last shot or the next shot. I concentrate. Every shot gets a clean slate. And when a… — Michael Caine Copy Share Image
My team-mates at Inter mock me when we are training. 'Stop running, let us win for a change,' they joke. But as… — Javier Zanetti Copy Share Image
The majority of our fans are dudes. And the chicks you do see at our shows are probably there because of a… — Jeff Hanneman Copy Share Image
When things get so absurd and so stupid and so ridiculous that you just can't bear it, you cannot help but turn… — David Byrne Copy Share Image
If a man tells you that he's fallen in love at first sight with you, just punch him. It's just another way… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Self-love means something. I thought it was all a joke for a long time. It's really important. Giving yourself a break is… — Lindsay Shookus Copy Share Image
When I had dial-up, my mom got me a phone so I wouldn't tie up the phone. She used to really pick… — Karen Civil Copy Share Image
One question about a joke is, how well is the strangeness of the situation resolved? At 'The New Yorker', we retain a… — Robert Mankoff Copy Share Image
“…And then you get some jerk for a boss. And you think, 'I wish God was my boss. That would be awesome.… — Jonathan Acuff Copy Share Image
For comedians, we're all kind of tweeting our thoughts instead of spending time developing them. You can gauge how good a joke… — Natasha Leggero Copy Share Image
I've always loved cuneiform; I've always loved the way it looks. I love that it's the world's oldest script. And the creative… — David Longstreth Copy Share Image
My men's clothes are traditional. I don't buy trendy clothes. I buy updated classics double breasted, three-piece suits; slacks and either T-shirts… — Divine Copy Share Image
I went up on stage, and said, "Why did the chicken cross the road? To check out the chicks." I was a… — Gabriel Iglesias Copy Share Image
Is it my fault that there is a stereotype that black people are not good swimmers? I know that's a joke, but… — Carlos Mencia Copy Share Image
Im not the voice of reason; Im more the guy using these offensive topics as fodder to raise tension in a joke. — Anthony Jeselnik Copy Share Image
I'm a taker in terms of jokes. I love to hear a good joke, but I don't retain jokes. I'm not a… — Steve Carell Copy Share Image
I like to write a joke without any fat on it.The shorter the better. I cater for people with ADD, basically. — Jimmy Carr Copy Share Image
Is the human race a joke? Was it devised and patched together in a dull time when there was nothing important to… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Too many lives go up in smoke - It's nice to laugh but don't be the joke. — Janet Jackson Copy Share Image
