Joke Quotes · Page 24

“Stag examined her body. “Eyes up here, gorgeous,” she murmured. “You don’t need to verify that. It was a bad joke.”

— Laurann Dohner

I've been joking that 'On the Road' is the prequel to 'The Road.' I don't know if that's a very good joke.

— Kodi Smit-McPhee

It is the ability to take a joke, not make one, that proves you have a sense of humor.

— Max Eastman

If this is some kind of practical joke, it's not funny, and I know funny. I'm a clownfish. -Marlin

— Finding Nemo

If a joke is too hard to visualize, I tell the young comics, then what the hell good is it?

— Henny Youngman

He who does not understand a joke, he does not understand Danish.

— Georg Brandes

“The art world is the biggest joke going. It’s a rest home for the overprivileged, the pretentious, and the weak.”

— Banksy

When I'm on the court, I don't smile, I don't joke, I'm not friends with anybody.

— Serge Ibaka

Only in the mystery novel are we delivered final and unquestionable solutions. The joke to me is that fiction gives you a…

— Scott Turow

I didn't even know any cowboys growing up. When my friends heard that I was marrying a cattle rancher and moving to…

— Ree Drummond

I think I am just bad mannered on the pitch like I can be bad on the pitch, I don't need to…

— Victor Wanyama

I worked in a paper mill all my adult life and there were a lot of funny guys there. So you pick…

— Donald Ray Pollock

I'm known for fashion photographs, but fashion photographs were mostly a joke for me. In 'Vogue,' girls were playing at being duchesses,…

— William Klein

It's all a joke! Everything anybody ever valued or struggled for... it's all a monstrous, demented gag! So why can't you see…

— Alan Moore

If I go and buy a coffee, and somebody asks me what I do, I'll say, 'I find asteroids.' And the first…

— Carrie Nugent

I always joke that they're all like my children, so I love them all, but I would be lying if I didn't…

— Diane Nelson

You know how hard it's been to write material? Because to do stand-up comedy, it takes time for the material to develop.…

— Maz Jobrani

No one understood why I would wanna be behind the camera, not in front of the camera, and so no one took…

— Amanda de Cadenet

There's a lot of different styles of hypnosis. There's conversational hypnosis, which, even though we joke about it, politicians use conversational hypnosis.…

— Keith Barry

And the thing about my jokes is, they don't hurt anybody. You can take 'em or leave 'em - you can say…

— Will Rogers

Take care, Jeffy. I’ll see you soon, right? Just remember not to throw food at the nurses. I don’t want to get…

— Jordan Sonnenblick

“Was she always that friendly?" I joke. "She saw Robert. At least I got that out of her." "Maybe she buried him…

— Travis Thrasher

The incarnation is “a kind of vast joke whereby the Creator of the ends of the earth comes among us in diapers…

— Frederick Buechner

“It's all been a bad joke that just ran out of control. I got into food for fun but the business got…

— Paul Newman

I'm not making comedy albums. That's too much effort for one joke.

— Matt Berry

I cannot tell a joke. But I can do a situation, that it becomes a joke.

— Don Rickles

I could always take a joke. I could always be the butt of the joke. I could always hand it out. That…

— Ricky Gervais

Comedy is what happens when you cross the dateline from the unbearable. Things become so unbearable they become a joke.

— Robyn Hitchcock

I just play the game. If that means I need to joke around, or whatever I need to do, that's what I'll…

— Nikola Jokic

All of my comedian friends are some of the best joke writers in the world.

— Ron White

I can never tell a joke, I've always found it easier to just fall over.

— Norman Wisdom

“CUT! ... Cut... ... FUCKING CUT IT! … Where is the fucking screenplay?”

— Deyth Banger

You need to tune into a different way of being funny for kids. They're learning the rhythm of a joke.

— Graham Linehan

“Joke in book: "You know the difference between a brownnoser and a shithead, right? Depth perception.”

— Elisabeth Naughton

“Did you just make a joke, Tris? We should have you on painkillers more often if your going to start cracking jokes.”

— Veronica Roth

“One of the leading causes of obesity is the misbelief that, when it comes to juice, ‘100%’ means ‘sugar-free.”

— Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Those Penis enlargement pills you have been taking must be working. You are a bigger Dick today than you were last week.

— Anonymous

Never take life as a joke take your life as a gift hand down from the maker of all things,peoples and places…

— Frenchqueen

Everybody wants me to finally close the curtain on the joke that is the Audley Harrison show.

— David Haye

I also had a hosting position on a home and garden television show - which is a joke if you ever see…

— Hannah Simone