ILLUSTRIOUS, adj. Suitably placed for the shafts of malice, envy and detraction. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
What is worth doing is worth the trouble of asking somebody to do it. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
PLENIPOTENTIARY, adj. Having full power. A Minister Plenipotentiary is a diplomatist possessing absolute authority on condition that he never exert it. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
DISCRIMINATE, v.i. To note the particulars in which one person or thing is, if possible, more objectionable than another. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
WOMAN, n. An animal usually living in the vicinity of Man, and having a rudimentary susceptibility to domestication. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
SATIETY, n. The feeling that one has for the plate after he has eaten its contents, madam. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
INGRATE, n. One who receives a benefit from another, or is otherwise an object of charity. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
PLAGIARIZE, v. To take the thought or style of another writer whom one has never, never read. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
THEOSOPHY, n. An ancient faith having all the certitude of religion and all the mystery of science. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
If you would be accounted great by your contemporaries, be not too much greater than they. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
MESMERISM, n. Hypnotism before it wore good clothes, kept a carriage and asked Incredulity to dinner. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Theology is a thing of unreason altogether, an edifice of assumptions and dreams, a superstructure without a substructure — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
DECIDE, v.i. To succumb to the preponderance of one set of influences over another set. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
DISABUSE, v.t. To present your neighbor with another and better error than the one which he has deemed advantageous to embrace. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Conversation, n.: A vocal competition in which the one who is catching his breath is called the listener. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
EXPOSTULATION, n. One of the many methods by which fools prefer to lose their friends. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
EAT, v.i. To perform successively (and successfully) the functions of mastication, humectation, and deglutition. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
OBSESSED, p.p. Vexed by an evil spirit, like the Gadarene swine and other critics. Obsession was once more common than it is now. Arasthus… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
DECIDE, v.i. To succumb to the preponderance of one set of influences over another set. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
IMMORAL, adj. Inexpedient. Whatever in the long run and with regard to the greater number of instances men find to be generally inexpedient comes… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
REVIEW, v.t. To set your wisdom (holding not a doubt of it./ Although in truth there's neither bone nor skin to it)/ At work… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
CLOCK, n. A machine of great moral value to man, allaying his concern for the future by reminding him what a lot of time… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
RUBBISH, n. Worthless matter, such as the religions, philosophies, literatures, arts and sciences of the tribes infesting the regions lying due south from Boreaplas. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
There was never a genius who was not thought a fool until he disclosed himself; whereas he is a fool then only. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Telephone, n. An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeable person keep his distance. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
WHANGDEPOOTENAWAH, n. In the Ojibwa tongue, disaster; an unexpected affliction that strikes hard. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Jealous, adj. Unduly concerned about the preservation of that which can be lost only if not worth keeping. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
RIDICULE, n. Words designed to show that the person of whom they are uttered is devoid of the dignity of character distinguishing him who… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
