Religions are conclusions for which the facts of nature supply no major premises. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
WOMAN, n. An animal usually living in the vicinity of Man, and having a rudimentary susceptibility to domestication. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
UXORIOUSNESS, n. A perverted affection that has strayed to one's own wife. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
prospect, n. An outlook, usually forbidding. An expectation, usually forbidden. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
A malefactor who atones for making your writing nonsense by permitting the compositor to make it unintelligible. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
THEOSOPHY, n. An ancient faith having all the certitude of religion and all the mystery of science. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
“No hay nada nuevo bajo el sol, pero hay muchas cosas viejas que nosotros no sabemos.” — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
EXPOSTULATION, n. One of the many methods by which fools prefer to lose their friends. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
HYDRA, n. A kind of animal that the ancients catalogued under many heads. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
The world has suffered more from the ravages of ill-advised marriages than from virginity. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
DISCRIMINATE, v.i. To note the particulars in which one person or thing is, if possible, more objectionable than another. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Glutton- A person who escapes the evils of moderation by committing dyspepsia. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
REPUBLIC, n. A nation in which, the thing governing and the thing governed being the same, there is only a permitted authority… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
EXILE, n. One who serves his country by residing abroad, yet is not an ambassador. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
OBSESSED, p.p. Vexed by an evil spirit, like the Gadarene swine and other critics. Obsession was once more common than it is now. Arasthus… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
DECIDE, v.i. To succumb to the preponderance of one set of influences over another set. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
IMMORAL, adj. Inexpedient. Whatever in the long run and with regard to the greater number of instances men find to be generally inexpedient comes… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
REVIEW, v.t. To set your wisdom (holding not a doubt of it./ Although in truth there's neither bone nor skin to it)/ At work… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
CLOCK, n. A machine of great moral value to man, allaying his concern for the future by reminding him what a lot of time… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
RUBBISH, n. Worthless matter, such as the religions, philosophies, literatures, arts and sciences of the tribes infesting the regions lying due south from Boreaplas. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
There was never a genius who was not thought a fool until he disclosed himself; whereas he is a fool then only. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Telephone, n. An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeable person keep his distance. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
WHANGDEPOOTENAWAH, n. In the Ojibwa tongue, disaster; an unexpected affliction that strikes hard. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Jealous, adj. Unduly concerned about the preservation of that which can be lost only if not worth keeping. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
RIDICULE, n. Words designed to show that the person of whom they are uttered is devoid of the dignity of character distinguishing him who… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
