“If natural selection can create creationists it can manage a caterpillar with a face on its arse.” — Zane Stumpo Copy Share Image
“Enjolras caught glimpses of a luminous uprising under the dark skirts of the future.” — Victor Hugo Copy Share Image
The difference between doing something and not doing something is doing something. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“That craptastical, gutless, son-of-a-cactus humping butt monkey" - Hartley Featherston” — Gemma Halliday Copy Share Image
“Being bigheaded can be as irritating and as dangerous as being small-minded.” — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
“Now you're just being silly. He's a mercenary- he's not going to go about penning love letters, and really, what would he… — Kresley Cole Copy Share Image
“Fine, but if you get yourself killed I reserve the right to flush your ashes down the toilet while I sing the… — Quinn Loftis Copy Share Image
“Fred said, “Man, I think he’s gonna make a fuckin’ suit of human skin, using the best parts from each of us.”… — David Wong Copy Share Image
I've always had a sense of humour, and I still do, so I just want to go on performing as long as… — Norman Wisdom Copy Share Image
“If you neglected to warn Djetth beforehand that you were going to shoot him down, Your Highness, he may consider you in… — Rowena Cherry Copy Share Image
We seem to have lost our British sense of humour. It's a great shame. We have to be so careful nowadays; we… — David Jason Copy Share Image
“We are loved way more by some of the people who have not contacted us in the last twelve or so months… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
“He was definitely taking his bodyguard duties seriously tonight. He gave off a take-one-step-closer-and-I-will-show-you-Armageddon vibe.” — Christina Henry Copy Share Image
“Three,' reckoned the captain, 'ourselves make seven, counting Hawkins, here. Now, about honest hands?' Most likely Trelawney's own men," said the doctor;… — Robert Louis Stevenson Copy Share Image
“The Robespierre women (as one tended to think of them now) were all on display. Madame looked actively, rather intimidatingly benevolent; it… — Hilary Mantel Copy Share Image
“She'd proven to be one of the most aggravating people I'd ever met. Unfortunately for me, she was also the best sex… — Christina Lauren Copy Share Image
“I like my tea like I like my men,” I say. With the last name “Grey.” But I realize that’s too forward,… — Andrew Shaffer Copy Share Image
“This evening I spied her in the back orchard. I decided to sacrifice one of my better old shirts and carried it… — K. Ritz Copy Share Image
No humorist is under any obligation to provide answers and probably if you were to delve into the literary history of humour… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
“Honestly, we don't kick or bite or throw potatoes at all our guests." A crooked smile touched Lord Bradford's lips. "Your family… — Heather Dixon Copy Share Image
“I’m only saying what you won’t. He’s a hunk, admit it. A tall, dark, exotic hunk who wants to bed you, and… — Dianna Hardy Copy Share Image
I usually balance out autobiography with goofy, amusing stuff to help keep the humour in my more serious work. — Jeffrey Brown Copy Share Image
“Grahame Coats did not go for walks; he had people to do that for him.” — Neil Gaiman Copy Share Image
“It's gonna be the scene of a homicide if you don't put bitchy on the back burner” — Rachel Vincent Copy Share Image
“Wish in one hand, shit in the other, see which one fills up faster.” — Noelle Oxenhandler Copy Share Image
“The world has seen more believers in times of troubles than in peace and joy.” — Deepak Rana Copy Share Image
“Sally did the mature thing and stuck her tongue out at her best friend.” — Quinn Loftis Copy Share Image
“Our friend, Gor – he’s the bony, old one, by the tallboy – has been suffering strange occurrences, spirit.” — Andrea Bennett Copy Share Image
“My head is too large, although I prefer to think it is large enough for my mind.” — George R.R. Martin Copy Share Image
“If your brother can't 'old 'is own against a bunch of orphans, 'e'd best leave off playing 'azard altogether!” — Sheri Cobb South Copy Share Image
“There’s always an opportunity to fish for something – even if it’s just for laughs or ideas.” — Fennel Hudson Copy Share Image
“Shame on you. Don't tell me you've been married for an hour and you've already got eyes for another woman.” — Mordecai Richler Copy Share Image
My definition of home is... Home is the place where you can scratch exactly where it itches. — Pacifiersucker Copy Share Image
“Five, six, seven eight-," Cecil grinned. "-Gay is just as good as straight," Dave said.” — Joseph Hansen Copy Share Image
“Without pride, man becomes a parasite – and there are already too many parasites.” — Carla H Krueger Copy Share Image
DIAPHRAGM, n. A muscular partition separating disorders of the chest from disorders of the bowels. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
