Mark my words, when a society has to resort to the lavatory for its humour, the writing is on the wall. — Alan Bennett Copy Share Image
GRAVE, n. A place in which the dead are laid to await the coming of the medical student. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
“Darlin’, I’ve heard all about fifty shades of grey but I never knew there were fifty shades of denim!” — Joanne McClean Copy Share Image
“Never follow the crowd… Until and unless you're crossing the road...” — Sanhita Baruah Copy Share Image
If there are moments in my work when people find joy and humour, that's a real success for me. — Patricia Piccinini Copy Share Image
You can write about anything for children as long as you've got humour. — Roald Dahl Copy Share Image
A little humour is good for the soul - regardless of how old you may be. — Richard Branson Copy Share Image
“Could I please amend that suggestion? Could you not be there in the second darkest shadow one hour before midnight, to see… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“Clearly, this was another thing I needed to add to the: ‘repetitive cycle of things that were constantly happening in my life’… — Adele Rose Copy Share Image
“How long have you been going?' said Vimes, selecting a pie. ‘Let’s see…what year is this?’ ‘Er…Dancing Dog, I think.’ ‘Since Tuesday,… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“And Honey, I just want you to know, even though I didn't see it coming, it makes absolutely no difference to your… — Patricia Gaffney Copy Share Image
Prudent people are very happy; 'tis an exceeding fine thing, that's certain, but I was born without it, and shall retain to… — Mary Wortley Montagu Copy Share Image
“Pelagia put her hands on her hips, taking advantage of the superiority implicit in the fact that she was standing and he… — Louis de Bernières Copy Share Image
“A big refugee camp governed by real terror and artificially pumped-up optimism - like the bastard child of Butlins and Colditz.” — M.R. Carey Copy Share Image
“Men," she said rueful, "are the most absurd creatures on this green earth." "But there are camels," Gabriel pointed out. "Believe me,"… — Zoe Archer Copy Share Image
“Some people are each holding on to a lover of theirs who no longer loves them and/or who they no longer love,… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
“Vhat ozzer abilities do you haf?" ter Borcht snapped, which his assistant waited, pen in hand. Gazzy thought. "I have X-ray vision,"… — James Patterson Copy Share Image
“Oh, measure it all out! Acceptable levels of misery and suffering!' The cane swung down, thumped hard on the ground. 'Acceptable? Who… — Steven Erikson Copy Share Image
“Did you catch the time-of-great-suffering thing?” Her expression softened. “Can you just make sure I’m not around when it happens?” “No can… — Darynda Jones Copy Share Image
When I look in the mirror, I am slightly reminded of self-portraits by Durer and by Rembrandt, because they both show a… — Robert Winston Copy Share Image
“There is nothing we can now call our own, for what we call so is the effect of art; crimes are made… — Blaise Pascal Copy Share Image
“Look,’ said Cyrus, raising his knife again and pointing it at her. ‘Give me one reason why we shouldn’t kill your boyfriend… — Sarah Alderson Copy Share Image
“You’re a talking cat?” Endora asked with a look of disbelief on her face. “My, my, my, aren’t you the bright bulb… — Sophie Palmer Copy Share Image
I enjoy humour more than anything, I don't really sit around banging my head and crying all the time. — Joaquin Phoenix Copy Share Image
I like my man to be witty; he needs a sense of humour and needs to be extremely well-mannered. — Esha Gupta Copy Share Image
I didn't respond to that. I'm not scared of heights. I'm just scared of falling from heights. — John Zakour Copy Share Image
Having a co-host helps, because the humour comes through the banter you have with them. — Karan Wahi Copy Share Image
“Any book without a mistake in it has had too much money spent on it.” — William Collins Copy Share Image
“There is only a one thing worse than an idiot: An idiot with a following.” — Narcissismus Decimus Maximus Copy Share Image
I write with humour about sadness, to introduce an element of sweet to the sour, a bit like Turkish food. — Elif Safak Copy Share Image
“I shrug. I'm an excellent shrugger. It's rivaled only by my ability to nod.” — Katja Millay Copy Share Image
“A best friend is one who understands humour in your most weird jokes..” — Himmilicious Copy Share Image
“One of the leading causes of obesity is the misbelief that, when it comes to juice, ‘100%’ means ‘sugar-free.” — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
The great British public is renowned throughout the world for its sense of humour. — James William Middleton Copy Share Image
