Humorous Quotes · Page 91

“By the time he was done with the deer it had been dark three hours and his bad leg was singing 'Ave…

— Stephen King

"I have seen those symptoms before," said Holmes, throwing his cigarette into the fire. "Oscillation upon the pavement always means an affaire…

— Arthur Conan Doyle

640K ought to be enough for anybody.

— Bill Gates

A man can well afford to be as bold as brass, my good fellow, when he gets gold in exchange!

— Charles Dickens

My dad is a very quick-witted, sarcastic, dry, humorous guy, whereas my mom's very silly, and that side of the family is…

— Tim Heidecker

Wagner’s music is better than it sounds.

— Anonymous

To me, an airplane is a great place to diet.

— Wolfgang Puck

In Moscow they do not pay much attention to the living but keep their cemeteries in a splendid state.

— George Mikes

If we loved Steve Aylett, really loved him in the way that he deserves, a selfless love that genuinely wanted nothing save…

— Alan Moore

“Quest assignments are never wrong.”

— Page Wisher

I'm not going to parse the statement. You've got the statement I made earlier and the statement speaks for itself.

— Mike McCurry

God created sex. Priests created marriage.

— Voltaire

“The front door swung open, and Zsadist strode into the house. Wrath glared. "Nice of you to show up, Z. Busy tonight…

— J.R. Ward

Clearly, society has a tremendous stake in insisting on a woman's natural fitness for the career of mother: the alternatives are all…

— Ann Oakley

I believe that all women are pretty without makeup- but with the right makeup can be pretty powerful.

— Bobbi Brown

“Like every other good thing in this world, leisure and culture have to be paid for. Fortunately, however, it is not the…

— Aldous Huxley

“Your Life our your lupines!" Dennis Moore”

— Monty Python

“Are Pixie sticks made out of cremated Pixies?”

— Neil Leckman

“Humorous people are often privately struggling with depression.”

— Steven Magee

“I'm sorry, but you just can't fit fabulous into a backpack.”

— Samantha Sotto

My folks were English . . . we were too poor to be British.

— Bob Hope

I like Bret Easton Ellis' sense of humor. I feel like mine is sometimes similar to his. And how his characters sometimes…

— Tao Lin

The only thing standing between me and greatness is me.

— Woody Allen

“You’ve got to give the door something?’ ‘Yes,’ said Dumbledore. ‘Blood, if I am not much mistaken.’ ‘Blood?’ ‘I said it was…

— J. K. Rowling

“Most sane human beings who are over the age of six usually act or react not as per what they genuinely feel…

— Mokokoma Mokhonoana