“Sometimes life takes oreos. But we have to learn to deal with it.” — Kayleigh Zubrod Copy Share Image
“Falon stared at Del intently, trying to figure out what was different. As usual, Del was impeccably dressed in a lavender dress… — Robin Alexander Copy Share Image
I have seen and heard comedians who had really funny 'stuff' but yet could not make the people laugh; then, again -… — Al Jolson Copy Share Image
“And now Kit’s cock—which had mostly been used for taking a leak before that moment—woke up and screamed I WANT! FEED ME… — Amy Lane Copy Share Image
“Oh, it's called, em...' Kate thinks, 'I can't remember what it's called.' 'You're the same as me,' Dad says to her. 'You've… — Cecelia Ahern Copy Share Image
In particular, there was a butler in a blue coat and bright buttons, who gave quite a winey flavour to the table… — Charles Dickens Copy Share Image
“A Man can Live two Weeks without Food, go two days without Water, and two minutes without Air, and apparently, an entire… — Walter Thomas Jr Copy Share Image
“My son's got the I.Q. Of a robot but I don't have the dough to send him to school.” — Jonathan Dunne Copy Share Image
Every single bit of entertainment is escapism. It's because you are saying, "Let's see what this other person's life is like." And… — Bruce Campbell Copy Share Image
Golf's really fun in Japan because of the women caddies. ... I saw one guy start out playing alone with his caddie.… — Bob Hope Copy Share Image
“I can't get her pregnant! I'm just thirteen. You have to be a man to get a girl pregnant.” — Scylar Tyberius Copy Share Image
“My boy, many people know many things. But the things we think we know of others can only become what is known… — Page Wisher Copy Share Image
All British castles and old country homes are supposed to be haunted. It's in the lease. — Bob Hope Copy Share Image
I should go to Paris and jump off of the Eiffel Tower. If I took the Concorde, I could be dead three… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
Lots of ways to have your steak Well done, medium rare, rare, bloody or fetch me a club — Stanley Victor Paskavich Copy Share Image
Bel Air, I am convinced, was laid out by some diabolic sadist who deliberately decided not to use a compass or a… — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
The lullaby is the spell whereby the mother attempts to transform herself back from an ogre to a saint. — James Fenton Copy Share Image
The only thing that matters to me about my stories is that they're entertaining and they're funny. And I tend to get… — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
The Arab peoples possess an ancient and highly developed civilization that is in many ways more sophisticated than our own. For instance,… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
After all, what is your host's purpose in having a party? Surely not for you to enjoy yourself; if that were their… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
His wardrobe was extensive--very extensive--not strictly classical perhaps, not quite new, nor did it contain any one garment made precisely after the… — Charles Dickens Copy Share Image
“Damn there were days being a woman confused the hell out of her.- Aella” — Eve Langlais Copy Share Image
