“--he stopped and eyed Bill Corso--"if you choose to just sit here like a bored jungle gorilla, you will have to write… — A.S. King Copy Share Image
I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use?… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
West Germans are tall, pink, pert and orthodontically corrected, with hands, teeth and hair as clean as their clothes and clothes as… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
“Pardon me Mam,I'm new in town, could you please show me the way to your house?” — Frank Calvin Mann Copy Share Image
Sygmnd was a poor Austrian who'd lost all the vowels in his name in a boating accident. — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
“[...] dropped his master's head upon the floor with a pretty loud crash, and then, without an effort to lift it up,… — Charles Dickens Copy Share Image
“phase two of Operation Fish and CHIPs (Clean House of the Idiot Piranhas)” — Brenda Pandos Copy Share Image
One of the nice things about 'Redshirts' getting onto the actual best-seller list, and doing as well as it has been doing,… — John Scalzi Copy Share Image
It is considered in England and the United States that the Government of South Africa is altogether too harsh with its native… — L. Ron Hubbard Copy Share Image
Don't call me when you're stuck in traffic. It's not my fault that radio sucks and did it ever occur to you… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
“My dad had once told me, crimson-red deep in “the talk,” that with sons, all he had to worry about was one… — Nicole Williams Copy Share Image
Never doubt the courage of the French. They were the ones who discovered that snails are edible. — Doug Larson Copy Share Image
Sex in the nineties is boring. The problem is that it has gone from an active act to a spectator sport. We… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
There are some experiences in life which should not be demanded twice from any man, and one of them is listening to… — George Bernard Shaw Copy Share Image
One of the glories of doing the book So You Want to Be President? was the shifts in tone, where I was… — David Small Copy Share Image