“Far back in the mists of ancient time, in the great and glorious days of the former Galactic Empire, life was wild,… — Douglas Adams Copy Share Image
“You need your beauty sleep for tomorrow" she tells us "don't stay up too late talking" We ignore her of course.The whole… — Heather Vogel Frederick Copy Share Image
“You took out a book on blow-job technique from the British Library? They shouldn't have books like that in there!” — Sarra Manning Copy Share Image
Imagine that, a poncho sombrero combo, I'll be off my tits on happiness. — Noel Fielding Copy Share Image
“Days have a sameness. Even new, they offer little beyond weather changes and sudden deaths.” — Vera Jane Cook Copy Share Image
I'm a comic and I'm having way too much fun with the comedy. I do the music for myself. — Eddie Griffin Copy Share Image
At first I had no skills in writing comedy. I didn't know what a joke was, but, as someone once told me,… — Steve Martin Copy Share Image
“An uncomfortable marriage can not bear the strain of the death of a beloved donkey.” — Merrie Haskell Copy Share Image
“It seems to be one of Nature’s laws that the most attractive girls should have the least attractive brothers. Fillmore Nicholas had… — P.G. Wodehouse Copy Share Image
Comedy is very difficult. I love it because when you do it right, it's the best feeling in the world. — Brandon Jay McLaren Copy Share Image
“There will be days that you don’t want to dress up and if you have some decent looking athletic wear, you can… — Big Mama Copy Share Image
Work hard. Don’t quit. Be appreciative, be thankful, be grateful, be respectful. Also, never whine, never complain. And always, for crying out… — Michael Keaton Copy Share Image
I can't be alone in saying that humor has gotten me through some hard times in my life. — Kat Timpf Copy Share Image
“However, to the amazement of their neighbors, the Klutzes never got seriously hurt. As clumsy as they were, the Klutzes were twice… — Henrik Drescher Copy Share Image
“OCEANA: Are we here to take a tour of the museum? Is this your surprise? ORPHEUS: This is my house. OCEANA: (gasps)… — Scarlett Brukett Copy Share Image
“It was guarded by a few demons, but most of Set's forces were running towards our boat, screaming and throwing rocks (which… — Rick Riordan Copy Share Image
“You are one of the unfortunate ones whose body decays rapidly in the face of radiation poisoning. You hang your head over… — A.J. Lauer Copy Share Image
My comedy has no color, it's for everybody, black, white, Latino, Asian. It's not a pro-black show, not a def jam show;… — Bruce Bruce Copy Share Image
God...my self in the Bronx always says that God has a funny sense of humor. ..He has a way of treating things,… — Malachi Martin Copy Share Image
“I realize you're planning on fighting all the dragons single-handedly-" "I'm going to protect you from John, dammit. Show him that he… — S.E. Jakes Copy Share Image
There is nothing funny about Halloween. This sarcastic festival reflects, rather, an infernal demand for revenge by children on the adult world. — Jean Baudrillard Copy Share Image
It used to be that in media, Johnny Carson used to be the most important person when he would invite you over… — Lisa Lampanelli Copy Share Image
“Jen, get a clue and read Wadim's shirt." Jacque told her dryly. Jen looked over at Wadim who, oh so helpfully, pulled… — Quinn Loftis Copy Share Image
“There is nothing wrong with feeling cold in Alaska at -70 degrees. It's when you feel nothing at all that it times… — Sergeant Major Copy Share Image
Banning guns, drugs, alcohol, premarital sex, political incorrectness, and gay marriage hasn't worked. We should ban Life. So long as even one… — Rock Cowles Copy Share Image
